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2. Some sports are extremely dangerous but many people still like them very much. Why do people take part in dangerous sports? Give some suggestions on how to deal with these dangers.

2. Some sports are extremely dangerous but many people still like them very much. Why do people take part in dangerous sports? Give some suggestions on how to deal with these dangers. AeWX
It is commonly believed that sports occupies vital role in our lives. It keeps us healthy, fit and it makes us active however, there are numbers of sports which are enormously dangerous. This essay will highlight that what are the reasons behind it and what action should we take for it. To commence with, at present, there are no things without competition in the modern world. There are two main reasons behind it and why many people promote dangerous sports and still they likes that. Firstly, human being depends on money, fame, popularity and more attention. These things provide them work opportunities such as, in movies and advertisements. They likes motorcycle stunt, water sports, rock climbing, bungee jumping, and plenty of risky sports. They participate in cheesy sport and earn money from it. Another reason is that people likes more attention and publicity in the society. They want to become popular celebrity and public figure in the world. They want to see their name in the television shows, newspaper headlines and Guinness world record book. These circumstances gives essential promotion to people. From my point of view, banning of these sports is not the solution for it. We should make strict rules against dangerous sports. These sports should be entirely under the training and undertaken by the expert trainers. Additionally, we should make strict rules and regulation about this sports such as, only experienced and knowledgeable people can apply for this hazardous sports. In conclusion, there are no doubts that some sports are extremely risky but the solution is that we should promote it with severe precautions.
It is
commonly
believed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
occupies vital role in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
us healthy, fit and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
us

active
however
, there are numbers of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
which are
enormously
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
. This essay will highlight

that what are the reasons behind it and what action should we take for it.

To commence with, at present, there are no things without competition in the modern world. There are

two main reasons behind it and why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
promote
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and
still
they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "like"
likes
that.

Firstly
, human being depends on money, fame, popularity and more attention. These things provide

them work opportunities such as, in movies and advertisements. They
The pronoun 'They' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "like"
likes
motorcycle stunt, water

sports, rock climbing, bungee jumping, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of risky
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. They participate in cheesy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
and

earn money from it.

Another reason is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
likes
more attention and publicity in the society. They want to become

popular celebrity and public figure in the world. They want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
their name in the television
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
,

newspaper headlines and Guinness world record book. These circumstances
You should probably use "give".
gives
essential promotion

to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

From my point of view, banning of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
is not the solution for it. We should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules


against
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
should be
entirely
under the training and undertaken by the

expert trainers.
Additionally
, we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulation about
Did you mean "these"?
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
such as,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only


experienced and knowledgeable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can apply for this hazardous sports.

In conclusion
, there are no doubts that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are
extremely
risky
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the solution is that we

should promote it with severe precautions.
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IELTS essay 2. Some sports are extremely dangerous but many people still like them very much. Why do people take part in dangerous sports? Give some suggestions on how to deal with these dangers.

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
267 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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