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123 is important than 456 Do you agree or disagree?

123 is important than 456 Do you agree or disagree? 56aOD
The problem of the city development has recently aroused wide concern among various circles. Some people agree that the enterprise should be placed in the countryside in order to ameliorate the problem in transportation and the residence; others believe that companies and factories are part of the state, thus, these should not be put in the country. Considering both sides of the argument, I totally disagree that enterprises should be placed in suburbs because of … Of all the reasons why companies, factories, and their employees should be located in the downtown, the most important one is that it will create another traffic and housing problem if these are located in the suburbs. The rationale behind is that the distance between employee’s residences and companies is proportional to traffic time. As an example, when the employee commute between countries and the downtown, the traffic time will enhance. As a result, traffic problems are still existing. Conversely, they can spend less time on the transportation when the companies are located vicinity of the downtown. It should also be noted that this method is not solving the problem, it just using suburbs to substitute city. On the grounds that most of the people may reside vicinity of their companies for convenience. For instance, the employee does not want to spend too much time on commuting when they get a little bit tired from work, in which case, they may set their homes in the suburbs. Without using suburbs to substitute cities, employees may do not need to spend too much time on traffic. govern may need to use a better city development plan to solve the problem. Some people may argue that the city scope is limited, thus, moving companies, factories and their employees to the countryside is the only method. This, however, is not true. There are many examples that a good city’s development plan may help to solve this problem. Moreover, the scope of the rural area is also limited, govern can not only rely on these areas. These reasons eliminate the argument of the city’s land size. All in all, it is reasonable to conclude that moving large companies, factories and their employees to the countryside will generate another traffic problem and cannot solve the traffic and housing problem. I believe that govern design a better city’s development plan is more efficacious to solve these problems. Taking everything into consideration, I disagree that companies, factories and their employees should be moved to countries.
The
problem
of the city
development
has recently aroused wide concern among various circles.
Some
people
agree
that the enterprise should
be placed
in the countryside in order to ameliorate the
problem
in transportation and the residence; others believe that
companies
and
factories
are part of the state,
thus
, these should not
be put
in the country. Considering both sides of the argument, I
totally
disagree that enterprises should
be placed
in
suburbs
because
of …

Of all the reasons why
companies
,
factories
, and their
employees
should
be located
in the downtown, the most
important
one is that it will create another
traffic
and housing
problem
if these
are located
in the
suburbs
. The rationale behind is that the distance between
employee’s
residences and
companies
is proportional to
traffic
time
. As an example, when the
employee
commute between countries and the downtown, the
traffic
time
will enhance.
As a result
,
traffic
problems
are
still
existing.
Conversely
, they can spend less
time
on the transportation when the
companies
are located
vicinity of the downtown.

It should
also
be noted
that this method is not solving the
problem
, it
just
using
suburbs
to substitute city. On the grounds that most of the
people
may reside vicinity of their
companies
for convenience.
For instance
, the
employee
does not want to spend too much
time
on commuting when they
get
a
little bit
tired from work, in which case, they may set their homes in the
suburbs
. Without using
suburbs
to substitute
cities
,
employees
may do not need to spend too much
time
on traffic.

govern
may need to
use
a better city
development
plan to
solve
the problem.

Some
people
may argue that the city scope
is limited
,
thus
, moving
companies
,
factories
and their
employees
to the countryside is the
only
method. This,
however
, is not true. There are
many
examples that a
good
city’s
development
plan may
help
to
solve
this
problem
.
Moreover
, the scope of the rural area is
also
limited, govern can not
only
rely on these areas. These reasons eliminate the argument of the city’s land size.

All in all, it is reasonable
to conclude
that moving large
companies
,
factories
and their
employees
to the countryside will generate another
traffic
problem
and cannot
solve
the
traffic
and housing
problem
. I believe that govern design a better city’s
development
plan is more efficacious to
solve
these
problems
. Taking everything into consideration, I disagree that
companies
,
factories
and their
employees
should be
moved
to countries.
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IELTS essay 123 is important than 456 Do you agree or disagree?

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
414 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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