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1. The beauty standards placed on women are unrealistically unachievable. Some people say that this is not good for their mental state, while others see this as a good way to motivate them to be better. Discuss the two views and choose the point of view that you prefer.

1. The beauty standards placed on women are unrealistically unachievable. Some people say that this is not good for their mental state, while others see this as a good way to motivate them to be better. Discuss the two views and choose the point of view that you prefer. DV1Gp
Females are enduring unfeasible criterion on their appearance. It is argued they might suffer psychological illnesses dealing with such a phenomenon, some claim this can play as a motivation bolstering their beauty. This essay firmly side with the opinion that unviable measures on beauty would be severely detrimental to women on the whole. In this writing, the two schools of thought will be profoundly addressed to ultimately reinforce my stated position. On the one hand, beauty standards are regarded to be harmful for female sex’s mentality. That is to say that when the standards become recurrent and accustomed, there are possibilities to them being perpetually obsessed with social’s beauty assessment and comparison to decent grace. This is therefore agreed due to prospectively serious mental trauma such as depression and anxiety disorders caused by their obsessive fear, given strict norm being expected from womankind. A survey on the USA’s female individuals in 2015 carried by American Psychological Association (APA), the leading scientific and professional organization representing psychology in the country, revealed that nearly 700 over one thousand women being inspected feel harassed and anxious when it comes to their struggle to meet the model beauty. On the other hand, an exemplary look is considered to exert a beneficial impact on women’s enhancement. The fair sex will more thoroughly pay heed to their outward appearance through make-up and clothes. Thus, they will be more feminine and proper in dressing when following the standards. Nevertheless, the prejudice towards women has changed, they are no longer be judged and evaluated for beauty, but rather their personalities and abilities. Hillary Clinton, a competent candidate in 2016 American president’s election, proves a great example for being admired and respected with her talents and qualities, but not any appealing face. In conclusion, while the downsides of impractical outward standards distress women’s mental health, there are some claims insisting that they will be beneficially encouraged to progress. However, on account of the changing assessable criterion, the beauty measure apparently cause more harm than good.
Females are enduring unfeasible criterion on their appearance. It
is argued
they might suffer psychological illnesses dealing with such a phenomenon,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
claim this can play as a motivation bolstering their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beauty
. This essay
firmly
side with the opinion that unviable measures on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beauty
would be
severely
detrimental to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
on the whole
. In this writing, the two schools of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
will be
profoundly
addressed to
ultimately
reinforce my stated position.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beauty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
standards
are regarded
to be harmful for female sex’s mentality.
That is
to say that when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
standards
become recurrent and accustomed, there are possibilities to them being
perpetually
obsessed with social’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beauty
assessment and comparison to decent grace. This is
therefore
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
due to
prospectively
serious mental trauma such as depression and anxiety disorders caused by their obsessive fear,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
strict norm being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
from womankind. A survey on the USA’s female individuals in 2015 carried by American Psychological Association (APA), the leading scientific and professional organization representing psychology in the country, revealed that
nearly
700 over one thousand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
being inspected
feel harassed and anxious when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to their struggle to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the model beauty.

On the other hand
, an exemplary look
is considered
to exert a beneficial impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women’s
enhancement. The
This expression can be considered offensive.
fair sex
will more
thoroughly
pay heed to their outward appearance through
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
-up and clothes.
Thus
, they will be more feminine and proper in dressing when following the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
standards
.
Nevertheless
, the prejudice towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
, they are no longer
be judged
and evaluated for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beauty
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
rather
their personalities and abilities. Hillary Clinton, a competent candidate in 2016 American president’s election, proves a great example for
being admired
and respected with her talents and qualities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not any appealing face.

In conclusion
, while the downsides of impractical outward
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
standards
distress
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women’s
mental health, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
claims insisting that they will be
beneficially
encouraged to progress.
However
, on account of the changing assessable criterion, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beauty
measure
apparently
cause more harm than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
.
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IELTS essay 1. The beauty standards placed on women are unrealistically unachievable. Some people say that this is not good for their mental state, while others see this as a good way to motivate them to be better. Discuss the two views and choose the point of view that you prefer.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
336 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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  • 1. The beauty standards placed on women are unrealistically unachievable. Some people say that this is not good for their mental state, while others see this as a good way to motivate them to be better. Discuss the two views and choose the point of view that you prefer.