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International tourism has contributed both positive and negative effects to the local community? Do you think the advantages of International tourism outweigh the disadvantages?

International tourism has contributed both positive and negative effects to the local community? Do you think the advantages of International tourism outweigh the disadvantages? drNjo
Travelling to certain countries can have its positive and negative outcome in local community. In this modern world, foreigners in our Country is ought to be accepted. However, this can lead to substantial negative effects in our lives. This essay will argue why International tourism has a plethora of bad results than a positive one. From my perspective, excessive tourists might destroy our environment and culture. Since a lot of them are not conscious with the fossil fuels they provide to the country and at the same time some of them are really not familiar with our traditions which could lead to misunderstandings. For instance, excessively use of vehicles of tourists can cause a wide array of air pollution in the environment that can damage the healthof the well-being moreover there might be culture clashes since being rude and entitled in this place can possibly result to arguments between the local and foreigners. It is considered that contributing these kinds of behaviors are much essential than the economic growth of each region. On the other hand, local groups enjoyed having extreme tourists considering that there are job opportunities for them. A Country with plenty of attractions are really in demand from caucasians and other foreign people in addition it would definitely contribute to the economic growth of the Country. For example, Boracay island is the main attraction in our place that certain tourists mostly visit because of it's breathtaking scenery and white beach and at the same time a plethora of outstanding restaurants, which is the main source of income of many family there due to the fact the unemployment rate of this island is increasing. Outside people who travel in other Countries are extremely satisfying due to the fact that they can help to the economy and occupations of the society nevertheless has an impact to the local environment. This essay argued why welcoming foreigners are indispensable nevertheless they can possibly obtain environmental problems. In conclusion, International tourism has still lot of harmful effects than being beneficial to the nation.
Travelling to certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can have its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
outcome in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
community. In this modern world, foreigners in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Country
is ought to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
.
However
, this can lead to substantial
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. This essay will argue why International tourism has a plethora of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
results than a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
one.

From my perspective, excessive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
our environment and culture. Since
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
them are not conscious with the fossil fuels they provide to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and at the same time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them are
really
not familiar with our traditions which could lead to misunderstandings.
For instance
,
excessively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of vehicles of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
can cause a wide array of air pollution in the environment that can damage the
Possible spelling mistake found.
healthof
the well-being
moreover
there might be culture clashes since being rude and entitled in this place can
possibly
result to arguments between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
and foreigners. It
is considered
that contributing these kinds of behaviors are much
Use "(essential)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
essential
than the economic growth of each region.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
groups enjoyed having extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
considering that there are job opportunities for them. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Country
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of attractions are
really
in demand from
Possible spelling mistake found.
caucasians
and other foreign
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in addition
it would definitely contribute to the economic growth of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Country
.
For example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Boracay
island is the main attraction in our place that certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
mostly
visit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
Did you mean "its breathtaking scenery"?
it's breathtaking scenery
and white beach and at the same time a plethora of outstanding restaurants, which is the main source of income of
Possible agreement error. The noun family seems to be countable; consider using: "many families".
many family
there due to the fact the unemployment rate of this island is increasing.

Outside
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who travel in other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Countries
are
extremely
satisfying due to the fact that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to the economy and occupations of the society
nevertheless
has an impact to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
environment. This essay argued why welcoming foreigners are indispensable
nevertheless
they can
possibly
obtain environmental problems.
In conclusion
, International tourism has
still
lot of harmful effects than being beneficial to the nation.
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IELTS essay International tourism has contributed both positive and negative effects to the local community? Do you think the advantages of International tourism outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
341 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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