Search
Tools
Listening
Reading
1. Academic
2. General
Writing
1. IELTSWriting Checker
2. IELTS Writing Samples
Speaking

Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.

1. A recent survey revealed that many people work because of money. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

1. A recent survey revealed that many people work because of money. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages? N8AQg

It is reported in a recent survey that many stay in a job only for generating some income. This essay will argue that the drawbacks of working with a view to gain a financial benefit outweigh the benefits. This essay will first demonstrate that this trend will lead to tiredness and apathy when people dealing at work and that it makes the work less productive, followed by an analysis of how the primary advantage, namely people’s motivation to work, is not valid. To begin with, an ample and powerful reason why this trend can be detrimental to individuals who follow monetary possessions is that they easily get fatigued and discontented. That is to say that they will never feel that sense of fulfillment when they accomplish something in their career path. And doing such a prolonged job in their life but not enjoyable soon make them tired. For example, a survey conducted in December 2019 showed that nearly 75% of the staffs working at a leading company feel exhausted and bored. Moreover, the products those work because of money make are not effective or creative. This is because people tend to be passive and avoid making an effort to exceeding the set targets. It is clearly evidenced by the case when the farmers near my house (where? ) argue not to do their given tasks faster to get more money because they are paid by day. The contradictory standpoint claim individuals will get a purpose of gaining money to keep working hard or learning well. However, there is actually no evidence to support this view, most people who attempt to do well in their career desire to have a high and respected position in life or to follow their passion. For instance, most of the students in my class (in what school? ) choose occupations they are interested in rather than for financial benefits. In conclusion, the advantage involved in working for money result from jobs’ motivation seems to be eclipsed by people’s apathy and unproductive work.

It is reported
 in a recent survey that Possible agreement error. The noun stay seems to be countable; consider using: "many stays".many stays
many stay
 in a job This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :exclusively
only
 for generating This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a number of
some
 income. This essay will argue that the drawbacks of You use this word too often, consider replacing it withbusyengagedaliverunningemployedfunctioning
working
 with a view to gain a financial benefit outweigh the benefits. This essay will first
 demonstrate that this trend will lead to tiredness and apathy when You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcrowdfamilycommunitynationsocietypublic
people
 dealing at You use this word too often, consider replacing it withtaskindustrytrialjobproductionstruggle
work
 and that it This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :createsconstructsmanufacturesproduces
makes
 the You use this word too often, consider replacing it withtaskindustrytrialjobproductionstruggle
work
 less productive, followed by an analysis of how the primary advantage, namely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcrowdfamilycommunitynationsocietypublic
people’s
 motivation to You use this word too often, consider replacing it withtaskindustrytrialjobproductionstruggle
work
, is not valid.

To This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :initiatecommence
begin
 with, an ample and powerful reason why this trend can be detrimental to individuals who follow monetary possessions is that they easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :acquire
get
 fatigued and discontented. That is
 to say that they will never feel that sense of fulfillment when they accomplish something in their career path. And doing such a prolonged job in their life This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:on the contrary
but
 not enjoyable This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:in the near future
soon
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :createconstructmanufactureproduce
make
 them tired. For example
, a survey conducted in December 2019 This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :demonstratedportrayedindicateddisplayed
showed
 that nearly
 75% of the staffs You use this word too often, consider replacing it withbusyengagedaliverunningemployedfunctioning
working
 at a leading This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :enterprisecorporation
company
 feel exhausted and bored. Moreover
, the products those You use this word too often, consider replacing it withtaskindustrytrialjobproductionstruggle
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:due to the factin light of the fact thatowing to the fact that
because
 of You use this word too often, consider replacing it withsalarywagewealthpaybillcash
money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :createconstructmanufactureproduce
make
 are not effective or creative. This is This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:due to the factin light of the fact thatowing to the fact that
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcrowdfamilycommunitynationsocietypublic
people
 tend to be passive and avoid making an effort to exceeding the set targets. It is clearly
 evidenced by the case when the farmers near my This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :residence
house
 (where? Loose punctuation mark.apply
)
 argue not to do their This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :accorded
given
 tasks faster to This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :acquire
get
 more You use this word too often, consider replacing it withsalarywagewealthpaybillcash
money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:due to the factin light of the fact thatowing to the fact that
because
 they are paid
 by day.

The contradictory standpoint claim individuals will This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :acquire
get
 a purpose of gaining You use this word too often, consider replacing it withsalarywagewealthpaybillcash
money
 to This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :retain
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withbusyengagedaliverunningemployedfunctioning
working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :arduous
hard
 or learning well. However
, there is actually no evidence to support this view, most You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcrowdfamilycommunitynationsocietypublic
people
 who attempt to do well in their career desire to have a high and respected position in life or to follow their passion. For instance
, most of the students in my This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :coursetraining
class
 (in what school? Loose punctuation mark.apply
)
 choose occupations they are interested
 in rather
 than for financial benefits.

In conclusion
, the advantage involved in You use this word too often, consider replacing it withbusyengagedaliverunningemployedfunctioning
working
 for You use this word too often, consider replacing it withsalarywagewealthpaybillcash
money
 result from jobs’ motivation seems to be eclipsed
 by You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcrowdfamilycommunitynationsocietypublic
people’s
 apathy and unproductive You use this word too often, consider replacing it withtaskindustrytrialjobproductionstruggle
work
. 