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These day people move to abroad to find the work and take their family with them. Do you think the disadvantage of this trend outweigh than advantages.

These day people move to abroad to find the work and take their family with them. Do you think the disadvantage of this trend outweigh than advantages. ldrYb
During the globalisation, world are changing rapidly and chromatic. Nowadays, more and more individuals are immigrating to another and nation with their family members for finding the work. Although there are few the metric of this trend, yet as my prospective advantage are the over face then this disadvantages which I will discuss in upcoming paragraph. to remark with, there are multiple address metric of family development in foreign country. The predominant is that people are not suffering homesickness when they live with their parents and simply. Because family act as the backbone, which stand a person in ups and down conditions. It can clear with suitable example is that student who are shifting their parents to abroad with them are facing less difficulty as compared to other peoples who lived alone. In addition to this for my younger sister also take care of their elderly in later life, if they have a immigrant them in western country. Owing to this, children not only fulfill their desire to move developed country, but also fulfill their responsibility regarding their parents in very easily. On the flip side comedy the main drawback of family 12 mint in abroad nation is that people have forget their culture and tradition. Because if whole family would be moved to western country they will definitely adopt new culture and language. As a consequence, individual forget their family background and loss their indenity. For example a survey conducted by Oxford University which studied that the main reason why Punjabi student forget their own language is that their whole family lived the in foreign countries. So they all are speaking English rather than Punjabi. In conclusion it can clear that advantage of family settlement in the world countries are more than disadvantages.
During the
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
, world are changing
rapidly
and chromatic. Nowadays, more and more individuals are immigrating to another and nation with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members for finding the work. Although there are few the
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "metrics"?
metric
of this trend,
yet
as my prospective advantage are the over face then this disadvantages which I will discuss in upcoming paragraph.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
remark with, there are multiple address
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "metrics"?
metric
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
development in foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. The predominant is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are not suffering homesickness when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with their parents and
simply
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
act as the backbone, which stand a person in ups and down conditions. It can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
with suitable example is that student who are shifting their parents to abroad with them are facing less difficulty as compared to other peoples who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
alone.
In addition
to this for my younger sister
also
take care of their elderly in later life, if they have
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
immigrant them in western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Owing to this, children not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
fulfill their desire to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
fulfill their responsibility regarding their parents in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easily
. On the flip side comedy the main drawback of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
12 mint in abroad nation is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have
Use past participle here: "forgotten".
forget
their culture and tradition.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
if whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
they will definitely adopt new culture and language. As a consequence, individual forget their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
background and loss their
Possible spelling mistake found.
indenity
.
For example
a survey conducted by Oxford University which studied that the main reason why Punjabi student forget their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
language is that their whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
the in foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they all are speaking English
rather
than Punjabi. In
The comma is probably missing here: "conclusion, it".
conclusion it
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
settlement in the world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are more than disadvantages.
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IELTS essay These day people move to abroad to find the work and take their family with them. Do you think the disadvantage of this trend outweigh than advantages.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
294 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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