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1. Modern technology has significantly changed our society. How has social networking sites (such as Facebook) influenced the way we interact with each other?

1. Modern technology has significantly changed our society. How has social networking sites (such as Facebook) influenced the way we interact with each other? 9wJLW
In the last few decades, the current technology has developed very rapidly. It has importantly changed our society. Thus, face to face communication is being replaced with online interaction through social media applications, such as Facebook, Instagram so on. It is this that affects the way we communicate with people around. To begin with, The overuse of social media reduces the quality of interpersonal communication. Instead of people communicating by meeting each other and talking at a coffee shop, today we only need a phone and applications to communicate with relatives or friends. That has caused the social communication of each individual to be reduced. For example, when we meet friends, we use social networking sites instead of talking. Furthermore, It also changes the way individuals work. In the old days, we used to work and communicate with colleagues at the company. However today social networking applications such as facebook, messenger can replace that. This has had a lot of consequences for society. First, people will be prone to obesity or osteoarthritis. Second, a more serious consequence is depression and insomnia. eventually, social or family relationships will be in trouble. In conclusion, social networks have changed a lot of communication habits of each individual and caused serious consequences in relationships. Therefore, instead of using social networks, we should go out to meet friends or talk to family members more.
In the last few decades, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
technology has developed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
rapidly
. It has
importantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
our society.
Thus
, face to face
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
is
being replaced
with online interaction through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media applications, such as Facebook, Instagram
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. It is this that affects the way we communicate with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, The overuse of
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social
media
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the quality of interpersonal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
.
Instead
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
communicating by meeting each other and talking at a coffee shop,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
need a phone and applications to communicate with relatives or friends. That has caused the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
of each individual to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
.
For example
, when we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
friends, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking sites
instead
of talking.

Furthermore
, It
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
the way individuals work. In the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
days, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to work and communicate with colleagues at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
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social
networking applications such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
facebook
, messenger can replace that. This has had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
consequences for society.
First
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will be prone to obesity or osteoarthritis. Second, a more serious consequence is depression and insomnia.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
eventually
,
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social
or family relationships will be in trouble.

In conclusion
,
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social
networks have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
habits of each individual and caused serious consequences in relationships.
Therefore
,
instead
of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networks, we should go out to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
friends or talk to family members more.
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IELTS essay 1. Modern technology has significantly changed our society. How has social networking sites (such as Facebook) influenced the way we interact with each other?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
229 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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