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Nowadays many students choose to study overseas because of the advanced education system and improved communication technology. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays many students choose to study overseas because of the advanced education system and improved communication technology. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? nXlNo
There is often much debate around the fact that a number of students choosing to study abroad has been increased sharply due to the development of technology and modern education. In my opinion, there are certain advantages of studying overseas but its disadvantages are considerable. It is said that studying abroad has a noteworthy positive effects. Firstly, when studying abroad, students will have a chance to learn more about the culture of the country they are going to study, which helps students know more about the people living here, how they live, and how they communicate with each other in daily life. Secondly, studying overseas can help them improve their language skill. For example, living in a foreign country will help students improve their pronunciation when they are speaking to native speakers and make their accent become more and more understandable. Although these attractions mentioned above, there are lots of drawbacks do exist. At first, students will feel unfamiliar with cultural diversities, which may lead to culture shock. Moreover, having to live far away from their parents and their friends make them feel lonely and hard to focus on their study. Finally, studying overseas will be extremely expensive so students and parents must think and discuss carefully because it will be regrettable if students later find that they are not suitable for studying in a foreign country. In conclusion, studying overseas does have some advantages that help students broaden their knowledge and have more experiences but also exists several disadvantages. If students can undergo all the drawbacks when studying overseas, they will become more successful in the future thanks to the advantages they have gained when studying overseas.
There is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
much debate around the fact that a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
choosing to study abroad has
been increased
sharply
due to the development of technology and modern education. In my opinion, there are certain advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overseas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
its disadvantages are considerable.

It
is said
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
abroad has a noteworthy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects.
Firstly
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
abroad,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will have a chance to learn more about the culture of the country they are going to study, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
know more about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
living here, how they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
, and how they communicate with each other in daily life.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overseas
can
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help
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
.
For example
, living in a foreign country will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their pronunciation when they are speaking to native speakers and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their accent become more and more understandable.

Although these attractions mentioned above, there are lots of drawbacks do exist. At
first
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will feel unfamiliar with cultural diversities, which may lead to culture shock.
Moreover
, having to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
far away from their parents and their friends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them feel lonely and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to focus on their study.
Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overseas
will be
extremely
expensive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
and discuss
carefully
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will be regrettable if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
later find that they are not suitable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
in a foreign country.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overseas
does have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
broaden their knowledge and have more experiences
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
exists several disadvantages. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can undergo all the drawbacks when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overseas
, they will become more successful in the future thanks to the advantages they have gained when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overseas
.
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IELTS essay Nowadays many students choose to study overseas because of the advanced education system and improved communication technology. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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