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1. In recent years, pressure on school and university students has been increasing and they are pushed to work very hard from a young age. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

1. In recent years, pressure on school and university students has been increasing and they are pushed to work very hard from a young age. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Wy81K
Students are the building blocks of a society. Recently, there has been a rise in pressure on school and university students and are forced to work really hard from childhood. According to me, it is a negative development as this may create an individual self-centred due to increased competition levels and many children may not be able to tolerate such difficult situation. Students are generally in strain to win from everyone else from a very early life. This has created lots of unnecessary competition between the peers and everyone is trying to work harder. Furthermore, it has led to a person being more self-centred than ever before. In addition to that, there is a self-induced motivation of being the best in all trades. There are many factors which contribute to this situation such as fear of failing, expectations from parents or friends, societal burden, etc. As a result of this, a child may feel pressed down under his own expectations. This fight to stay ahead from every other person is also causing negative effects upon the mental health of a kid. It involves working very hard. One is always worried about the future outcomes of the exams. But what if the result is not according to what one desired? Sometimes the answer to this comes as suicide. It becomes difficult for a student to handle these tensions and they feel the most easy way out is to die. According to a report, there has been an increase in the number of suicides per year by students. To conclude, more pressure is harmful for students as it may create competitions within the classmates and also changing the behaviour of a person. Some kids may find it difficult in these situations to cruise smoothly. They may lose the right path and commit suicide.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
are the building blocks of a society. Recently, there has been a rise in pressure on school and university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and
are forced
to work
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
from childhood.
This phrase can sound awkward in English. Consider using "in my opinion" or "I think".
According to me
, it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development as this may create an individual
Possible spelling mistake found.
self-centred
due to increased competition levels and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
children may not be able to tolerate such difficult situation.

Students are
generally
in strain to win from everyone else from a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
early life. This has created lots of unnecessary competition between the peers and everyone is trying to work harder.
Furthermore
, it has led to a person being more
Possible spelling mistake found.
self-centred
than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
In addition
to that, there is a self-induced motivation of being the best in all trades. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors which contribute to this situation such as fear of failing, expectations from parents or friends, societal burden, etc.
As a result
of this, a child may feel pressed down under his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
expectations.

This fight to stay ahead from every other person is
also
causing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects upon the mental health of a kid. It involves working
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
. One is always worried about the future outcomes of the exams.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
what if the result is not according to what one desired?
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
the answer to this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
as suicide. It becomes difficult for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
to handle these
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
tensions and
they feel
This adjective uses the short comparatives form.
the most easy
way out is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
. According to a report, there has been an increase in the number of suicides per year by students.

To conclude
, more pressure is harmful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
as it may create competitions within the classmates and
also
changing the
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
of a person.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
kids may find it difficult in these situations to cruise
smoothly
. They may lose the right path and commit suicide.

IELTS essay 1. In recent years, pressure on school and university students has been increasing and they are pushed to work very hard from a young age. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
7.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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