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Some reads or sees national news, while other think international news is important too . Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some reads or sees national news, while other think international news is important too. 56L9e
Newspapers plays a major role where one can be connected with what is going in the world either it is domestic or global new. While some prefer to focus on local news over the international news. But, however, I agree with who hold the opinion that international news is also important. On the one hand, Local news is more important to the locals as it can be somehow related to their lives. For example, farmers or any workers, working in rural areas would like to know what are the conditions if the market and how they can increase their business. Even for the elections, local news helps them to find what all subsides are the getting from the government. Moreover, the peoples who follow local newspapers, they often find it difficult to compete to global level since their knowledge is a constraint. For instance, a person took part in "Who will be a millionaire? " The person fails to answer many questions as it contains questions from all over the world. On the other hand, Peoples who follow global news, it keeps them up today with day-to-day activities and what all happening in the geographical area. World-wide news is incredibly popular and important among different zone of peoples and which make peoples feel connected with each other. For example, consider China, who is suffering from an outbreak of COVD-19 which has a remarkable impact worldwide. As a result, people are aware of all its symptoms of such diseases. Furthermore, if any country is affected with any crises, the whole economy will be shaken, the currency fluctuation and stock market will drop drastically which effect whole world wide market. In conclusion, in my opinion, where local new's is important to know what is going on in your country, but with international news one can be aware of stock market and about the economy globally.
Possible agreement error. You should probably use: "newspaper plays".
Newspapers plays
a major role where one can
be connected
with what is going in the world either it is domestic or global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
prefer to focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
over the international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
,
however
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
hold the opinion that international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
as it can be somehow related to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
For example
, farmers or any workers, working in rural areas would like to know what are the conditions if the market and how they can increase their business. Even for the elections,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
In informal texts, 'to' is not necessary. Do you mean "helps them find"?
helps them to find
what all subsides are the getting from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
follow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
newspapers, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
find it difficult to compete to global level since their knowledge is a constraint.
For instance
, a person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
took part
in
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Who will be a millionaire?
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
The person fails to answer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
questions as it contains questions from all over the world.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Peoples
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
follow global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
them up
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
with day-to-day activities and what all happening in the geographical area. World-wide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
is
incredibly
popular and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
among
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
zone of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
and which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
feel connected with each other.
For example
, consider China,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
is suffering from an outbreak of COVD-19 which has a remarkable impact worldwide.

As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are aware of all its symptoms of such diseases.
Furthermore
, if any country is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
with any crises, the whole economy will
be shaken
, the currency fluctuation and stock market will drop
drastically
which effect whole
Did you mean "worldwide"?
world wide
market.

In conclusion
, in my opinion, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
new's is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to know what is going on in your country,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
one can be aware of stock market and about the economy globally.

IELTS essay Some reads or sees national news, while other think international news is important too.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
313 words
7.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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