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writing part 1: analye a chart

writing part 1: analye a chart 7P99A
The chart and the line graph both illustrate the increase in the number of participants who have participated in the Olympics since it was first held. However, the chart also shows the number of male and female participants clearly, while the line graph just states the total figure of contestants in general. According to the bar chart, the number of both male and female participants in 2012 was significantly more than it was in 1924. Every 8 years the number of male participants had increased moderately by over 1, 000 athletes. From 1924 to 2012, the figure was double from 3, 000 to 6, 000 male participants. Beside the increase in the male participants, the figure of female athletes also experienced a significant increase. In 1924 and 1952, there were far less than 1, 000 female participants. However, the number of female athletes peaked at about 5, 000 in 2012, which meant it had risen sharply and substantially. The line graph, in contrast, just illustrates the total number of participants generally. The figure rose by 2, 000 from 1924 to 1984. Then it went through a rapid increase when the number of participants rose by 4, 000, reached its peak at 10, 000 participants in 2012. It was easily apparent that the sharp change in the number of female participants had led to the significant increase in the total number of participants in the Olympics. In summary, the total number of participants had increased significantly due to the rapid rise in the number of female participants. This shows that gender equality has been featured from 2012 and implemented in all aspects of socio-economic life and human rights, which creates more opportunities for female to join in many activities, even taking part in sport competitions and the Olympics games.
The chart and the line graph both illustrate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
participants
who have participated in the Olympics since it was
first
held.
However
, the chart
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of male and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
participants
clearly
, while the line graph
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
states the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
of contestants
in general
.

According to the bar chart, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of both male and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
participants
in 2012 was
significantly
more than it was in 1924. Every 8 years the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
participants
had increased
moderately
by over 1, 000 athletes. From 1924 to 2012, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
was double from 3, 000 to 6, 000 male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
participants
. Beside the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
in the male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
participants
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
athletes
also
experienced a significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
. In 1924 and 1952, there were far less than 1, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
participants
.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
athletes peaked at about 5, 000 in 2012, which meant it had risen
sharply
and
substantially
.

The line graph,
in contrast
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
illustrates the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
participants
generally
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
rose by 2, 000 from 1924 to 1984. Then it went through a rapid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
participants
rose by 4, 000, reached its peak at 10, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
participants
in 2012. It was
easily
apparent that the sharp
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
participants
had led to the significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
participants
in the Olympics.

In summary, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
participants
had increased
significantly
due to the rapid rise in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
participants
. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that gender equality has
been featured
from 2012 and implemented in all aspects of
Possible spelling mistake found.
socio-economic
life and human rights, which creates more opportunities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
activities, even taking part in sport competitions and the Olympics games.
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IELTS academic writing part 1: analye a chart

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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