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Task 1 writing, game shows and reality shows

Task 1 writing, game shows and reality shows lXnnQ
The bar charts compare how many of Australia's males and females watch reality shows or game shows on TV, by age group. Overall, it can be seen that reality shows were highly popular among females, whereas game shows were almost equally preferred by both the genders. Furthermore, people over 45years, recorded highest viewing of both reality shows as well as game shows. Firstly, from the graph we can see that, game shows were watched by almost 60% of men and women, in which, they were quite popular in people of age over 45 years with figures of 70%. In contrast, between ages 25 and 44, only about 40% of them watched game shows, when compared to almost 60% to 65% of these age groups watching reality shows. Focusing on, 70% of females have watched reality shows, while only 35% of men have shown interest. Both the shows were fairly popular among 16-24 year-olds with figures of 50%.
The bar charts compare how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of Australia's males and females
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
or game
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
on TV, by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
group.
Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
were
highly
popular among females, whereas game
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
were almost
equally
preferred by both the genders.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
over 45years, recorded highest viewing of both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
game
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
.

Firstly
, from the graph we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that, game
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
by almost 60% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women, in which, they were quite popular in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
over 45 years with figures of 70%.
In contrast
, between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
25 and 44,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
about 40% of them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
game
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
, when compared to almost 60% to 65% of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
groups watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
. Focusing on, 70% of females have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
, while
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
35% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
have shown interest. Both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
were
fairly
popular among 16-24 year-olds with figures of 50%.
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IELTS academic Task 1 writing, game shows and reality shows

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
157 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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