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Task 1 writing, regular physical activity

Task 1 writing, regular physical activity 309Bb
The bar chart illustrates the number of Australia's males and females of various age groups doing regular physical activity. The data has been recorded in percentages. Overall, females were more active when compared to males in almost all the age groups, with the highest percentage of women being active is recorded the age group of 45-54 years. Firstly, it can be seen from the graph that, maximum amount of activity is recorded in 45-54 year age group of women with 53. 3% being active when compared to a merely 43. 1% of men of the same age group. Focusing on males, they were mostly active in the age of 15-24 years with 52. 8% and least active in the age of 35-44 years with 39. 5%. Furthermore, almost equal number of females are active in the age group 35-44 years with 52. 5% and 55-64 years with 53%. However, in people who are aged 65 and over almost similar proportion of males and females are active which is 46. 7% and 47. 1% respectively.
The bar chart illustrates the number of Australia's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
and
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females
of various
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age
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groups
doing regular physical activity. The data has
been recorded
in percentages.
Overall
,
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females
were more
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active
when compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
in almost all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
, with the highest percentage of women being
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active
is recorded
the
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age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
of 45-54 years.

Firstly
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the graph that, maximum amount of activity
is recorded
in 45-54
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year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
of women with 53. 3% being
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active
when compared to a
merely
43. 1% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
of the same
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age
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group
. Focusing on
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males
, they were
mostly
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active
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 15-24 years with 52. 8% and least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
active
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 35-44 years with 39. 5%.
Furthermore
, almost equal number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
active
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
35-44 years with 52. 5% and 55-64 years with 53%.
However
, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
are aged
65 and over almost similar proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
active
which is 46. 7% and 47. 1%
respectively
.
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IELTS academic Task 1 writing, regular physical activity

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
174 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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