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write a summary of the information in the pie chart

write a summary of the information in the pie chart w7PBm
The chart provides information about what means of transport traveller to New Zealand use on vacation The commonest transport is car which about 70 percent of people make a choice between all options. Plane and coach are two means of transport which are used almost the same amount, at the most 30 percent. Twenty percent of visitors travel to New Zealand by train, which is the fourth most popular form of transport. Just about 10 percent of travellers also like using boat during their visits. In general, people like travelling to New Zealand by public transport rather than private one.
The chart provides information about what means of
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transport
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traveller
to New Zealand
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
on vacation

The commonest
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transport
is car which about 70
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percent
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a choice between all options.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Plane
and coach are two means of
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transport
which are
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used
almost the same amount, at the most 30
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percent
. Twenty
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percent
of visitors travel to New Zealand by train, which is the fourth most popular form of
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transport
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
about 10
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percent
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
also
like using boat during their visits.

In general
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
like travelling to New Zealand by public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
rather
than private one.
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IELTS academic write a summary of the information in the pie chart

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
100 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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