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Write a report for a university tutor describing the information shown in the diagram below. The chart depicts the number of men and women hospitalised in Meredith

Write a report for a university tutor describing the information shown in the diagram below. The chart depicts the number of men and women hospitalised in Meredith 2xdmx
The line graph represents the count of males and females in the town Meredith who were hospitalised. The data is calibrated in terms of numbers. Overall, hospitalisation of men had shown a fall over the years. Whereas the number of women hospitalised increased rapidly across few years and then reduced gradually. To begin with, count of men hospitalised was just below 600 in 1960, which was the maximum count. In 1970, the count was reduced by just 50. But over the next decade, it fell to two-third of the maximum count recorded. By 1975, a slight increase was seen, after which the hospitalisation of men fell and reduced to less than the half of the peak count recorded. In case of women, hospitalization count was well below 100, which happens to be the least count recorded for females. After that, the count doubled over a decade and reached its maximum of 300 in 1975. In the final year, the count had decreased. Even though, it recorded more twice the minimum count.
The line graph represents the
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count
of males and females in the town Meredith who were
Possible spelling mistake. 'hospitalised' is British English.
hospitalised
. The data
is calibrated
in terms of numbers.

Overall
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'hospitalisation' is British English.
hospitalisation
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
had shown a fall over the years. Whereas the number of women
Possible spelling mistake. 'hospitalised' is British English.
hospitalised
increased
rapidly
across few years and then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
gradually
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
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count
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
Possible spelling mistake. 'hospitalised' is British English.
hospitalised
was
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just
below 600 in 1960, which was the maximum
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count
. In 1970, the
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count
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
by
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just
50.
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But
over the
next
decade, it fell to two-third of the maximum
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count
recorded. By 1975, a slight increase was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
, after which the
Possible spelling mistake. 'hospitalisation' is British English.
hospitalisation
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
fell and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
to less than the half of the peak
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count
recorded.

In case of women,
Do not mix variants of the same word ('hospitalization' and 'hospitalisation') within a single text.
hospitalization
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count
was well below 100, which happens to be the least
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count
recorded for females. After that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
count
doubled over a decade and reached its maximum of 300 in 1975. In the final year, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
count
had decreased.
Even though
, it recorded more twice the minimum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
count
.

IELTS academic Write a report for a university tutor describing the information shown in the diagram below. The chart depicts the number of men and women hospitalised in Meredith

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
171 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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