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write a report for a university lecturer describing the information in the graph below . Rate of smoking in Someland-men and women

write a report for a university lecturer describing the information in the graph below. Rate of smoking in Someland-men and women EKoD
The line graph illustrates the rate of smoking in someland between the men and women. It can be seen that the rate of smoking between men and women is currently declining and that fewer women had smoked throughout the peroid. In 1960, men in every 1000 was smoking and that was much steeper than the others. The rate of men in smoking plummeted gradually from 1965 to 2000. On the other hand, the rate of female was 98 in every 1000 per people in 1960. The proportion of female rose significantly in 1965 and this number remained static in 1970 then again surge substantially from 1977 to 1980. By 1985 to 2000 the rate of women decreased slightly. In conclusion, we can see that the rate of smoking in men dropped throughout whole period but was always at a higher level than female figures. The rate of smoking in women increased until, 1977 but then declined for the rest of the peroid.
The line graph illustrates the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in
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someland
between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
. It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
is
currently
declining and that fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
had smoked throughout the
Possible spelling mistake found.
peroid
. In 1960,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
in every 1000 was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
and that was much steeper than the others. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
plummeted
gradually
from 1965 to 2000.
On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of female was 98 in every 1000 per
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in 1960. The proportion of female rose
significantly
in 1965 and this number remained static in 1970 then again surge
substantially
from 1977 to 1980. By 1985 to 2000 the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
decreased
slightly
.
In conclusion
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
dropped throughout whole period
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
was always at a higher level than female figures. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
increased until, 1977
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
then declined for the rest of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
peroid
.

IELTS academic write a report for a university lecturer describing the information in the graph below. Rate of smoking in Someland-men and women

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
162 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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