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Write a report for a university lecturer about UAE graduated students

Write a report for a university lecturer about UAE graduated students 3xBpX
The given bar chart reveals information about male and female graduates from the different colleges in the UAE. The overview shows that graduation rate of all colleges had fluctuations. Number of graduated women's are higher than graduated men's from the colleges of UAE. It is seen from the chart that 547 women's were graduate from the dubai women's college whereas only 426 men's were graduate from same institution. Men's from all the colleges are less graduated compare to women's. Male and female from the sharjah were approximately same pass out rate.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar chart reveals information about male and female graduates from the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
colleges in the UAE. The overview
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that graduation rate of all colleges had fluctuations. Number of graduated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women's
are higher than graduated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
's from the colleges
A determiner is probably missing here: "of the UAE".
of UAE
. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the chart that 547
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women's
were graduate from the
Possible spelling mistake found.
dubai
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women's
college whereas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
426
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
's were graduate from same institution.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Men
's from all the colleges are less graduated compare to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women's
. Male and female from the
Possible spelling mistake found.
sharjah
were approximately same pass out rate.
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IELTS academic Write a report for a university lecturer about UAE graduated students

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
91 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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