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World population by region, 1900 and 2000

World population by region, 1900 and 2000 WmANK
The pie charts compare the percentage of people who lived in various parts of the world over two separated years (1900-2000). As can be seen, The most significant point in the pie charts was Asia which accounted for the lion's share. While the others changed with noticeable differences in the given courses. Total number of people in Asia and Europe decreased slightly from 1900 to 2000. Accounting for the highest fraction, Asia represented 60% of the population in 1900, falling to just over a half (54%) in spite of including former Sovet Asia in 2000. Europe was the second place in both years, making up 25% and decreasing to 14% in 2000. The remaining categories showed only noticeable contrast between the continents, with extra sector followed by Middle East and North Africa constituting 6% in 2000. The citizens of Africa and Latin America had a swift increase with a minor quantity in contrast other regions. Inhabitance came from North America and countries not mentioned maintained the same level, registering 5% and 3% respectively.
The pie charts compare the percentage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in various parts of the world over two separated years (1900-2000).

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
, The most significant point in the pie charts was Asia which accounted for the lion's share.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
the others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
with noticeable differences in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
courses.

Total number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in Asia and Europe decreased
slightly
from 1900 to 2000. Accounting for the highest fraction, Asia represented 60% of the population in 1900, falling to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over a half (54%)
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
including former
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sovet
Asia in 2000. Europe was the second place in both years, making up 25% and decreasing to 14% in 2000.

The remaining categories
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
noticeable contrast between the continents, with extra sector followed
A determiner is probably missing here: "by the Middle East".
by Middle East
and North Africa constituting 6% in 2000. The citizens of Africa and Latin America had a swift increase with a minor quantity
in contrast
other regions.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Inhabitance
came from North America and countries not mentioned maintained the same level, registering 5% and 3%
respectively
.
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IELTS academic World population by region, 1900 and 2000

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
173 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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