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Charts show number of people attended cinemas

Charts show number of people attended cinemas oEMWX
The given column graph shows the total number of Australian, UK, US and other movies screened in UK and Australia in 2001. The line graph illustrates the number of people who attended cinema in both countries from 1976 to 2006. From the bar chart it is manifest that, in UK more than 75% US movies were screened followed by 20% UK films, approximately 10% Australian films and least number of other nation movies were shown. In Australia highest releases were US films followed by UK movies at approximately 7% and least number of Australian movies were screened in the country itself at less than 5%. The line graph shows highest number of UK people attended cinema in 2000 and less people seem to be interested in cinema in 1985 which was even less than 60 million. Same number of Australians attended cinema in 2000 and 2005 which was highest among all other years stood at 80 million followed by approximately 70 million in 1995 and slightly more than 40% in 1990 and least number of cinema attendees in 1975 around 20 million only. To conclude, highest number of UK people were fond of watching US films and maximum cinema attendance is in 2000. Whereas in the given period Australian falls behind than UK in terms of watching movies but likewise UK they also like US films compared to other ones.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
column graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of Australian, UK, US and
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other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
screened in UK and Australia in 2001. The line graph illustrates the
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number
of
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people
who attended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
in both countries from 1976 to 2006.

From the bar chart it is manifest that, in UK more than 75% US
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
were screened
followed by 20% UK films, approximately 10% Australian films and least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
nation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
were shown
. In Australia highest releases were US films followed by UK
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
at approximately 7% and least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of Australian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
were screened
in the country itself at less than 5%.

The line graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of UK
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
attended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
in 2000 and
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun people is countable.
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
seem to
be interested
in
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cinema
in 1985 which was even less than 60
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million
. Same
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number
of Australians attended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
in 2000 and 2005 which was highest among all
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other
years stood at 80
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million
followed by approximately 70
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million
in 1995 and
slightly
more than 40% in 1990 and least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
attendees in 1975 around 20
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.

To conclude
,
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of UK
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were fond of watching US films and maximum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
attendance is in 2000. Whereas in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period Australian falls
Use "(behind)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
behind
than UK in terms of watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
likewise
UK they
also
like US films compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
ones.
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IELTS academic Charts show number of people attended cinemas

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
230 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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