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What percentage of international students manage to graduate in Canada

What percentage of international students manage to graduate in Canada NyWny
Thousands of pupils manage to graduate around the whole world. Nonetheless, we are not familiar with the average of scholars that manage to obtain these education in Canada For this reason, we have decided to obtain the data of international students on various dates, to observe if the numbers have increased or decreased; It is fundamental to note that in the graph shown at the bottom, we have the names of the numerous Canadian provinces where the surveys were conducted. After waiting 5 years and taking the survey again, the results were as expected in most regions, it was confirmed that every year more people travel to this country in search of a good education. However, there is a location that attracted several attention, Alberta. Alberta is a province in western Canada, which has obtained a different result than the others. In 2001, its percentage was 5. 8, and in 2006, 4. 2. In conclusion, fewer students have decided to study in this region.
Thousands of pupils manage to graduate around the whole world. Nonetheless, we are not familiar with the average of scholars that manage to obtain
Did you mean "this education" or "these educations"?
these education
in Canada

For this reason
, we have decided to obtain the data of international students on various dates, to observe if the numbers have increased or decreased; It is fundamental to note that in the graph shown at the bottom, we have the names of the numerous Canadian provinces where the surveys
were conducted
.

After waiting 5 years and taking the survey again, the results were as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
in most regions, it
was confirmed
that every year more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
travel to this country in search of a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
education.
However
, there is a location that attracted
Possible agreement error. The noun attention seems to be countable; consider using: "several attentions".
several attention
, Alberta.

Alberta is a province in western Canada, which has obtained a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
result than the others. In 2001, its percentage was 5. 8, and in 2006, 4. 2.

In conclusion
, fewer students have decided to study in this region.
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IELTS academic What percentage of international students manage to graduate in Canada

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
164 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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