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what are the causes of obesity and how it can be solved essay

what are the causes of obesity and how it can be solved essay bx0wY
It is undoubtedly that the number of children who are suffering from obesity can be said to have reached epidemic proportions compared to previous generation. So, what are the factors behind this obesity epidemic, and how can it be brought under the control. This essay will attempt to found out the reasons and propose some solutions. The primary reason of getting fat is inactive life style or in other word, we are living in sedentary life, which makes us move or do fewer activities due to the contemporary technologies. For example if people want to buy something they have their wished delivered including ( meals, books or other necessary households ) the way forward could be taking regular exercises instead of driving cars people may cycle or walk which means they should commute to work on foot rather than driving or catching public transports Another cause, which leads to obesity or makes people get unfit, is consuming too much products or the products, which have much calories like fast food, majority of people, get addicted to eat junk food like cheeseburgers or hot-dogs before going to bed. For example, once they have eaten that food before bed it is out of reach to digest completely those calories. As a result, our body stores those calories as a fat. This issue could be addressed by setting up a clear routine every single individual should follow for a particular routine so they have dinner on time and let their organism to digest those calories so the main responsibilities lies on ourselves. To sum up, Every single person responsible for their health therefore, they should take a lead and start to care about themselves by doing regular exercises instead of searching the easiest way as well as, they should follow on RDI ( recommended daily intake ) rather than consuming junk food unless, it leads to a plethora of health problems
It is
undoubtedly
that the number of children who are suffering from obesity can
be said
to have reached epidemic proportions compared to previous generation.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, what are the factors behind this obesity epidemic, and how can it
be brought
under the control. This essay will attempt to found out the reasons and propose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions. The primary reason of getting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
is inactive life style or in other word, we are living in sedentary life, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
or do fewer activities due to the contemporary technologies.
For example
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
something they have their wished delivered including
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
meals, books or other necessary households
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)
the way forward could be taking regular exercises
instead
of driving cars
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may cycle or walk which means they should commute to work on foot
rather
than driving or catching public
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
transports


Another cause, which leads to obesity or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
unfit, is consuming too
Use "many" with countable nouns.
much
products or the products, which have
Use "many" with countable nouns.
much
calories like
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
,
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
addicted to eat junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
like cheeseburgers or hot-dogs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
going to bed.
For example
, once they have eaten that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
bed it is out of reach to digest completely those calories.
As a result
, our body stores those calories as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
. This issue could
be addressed
by setting up a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
routine every single individual should follow for a particular routine
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they have dinner on time and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
their organism to digest those calories
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the main responsibilities lies on ourselves.

To sum up, Every single person responsible for their health
therefore
, they should take a lead and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to care about themselves by doing regular exercises
instead
of searching the easiest way
as well
as, they should follow on RDI
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
recommended daily intake
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)
rather
than consuming junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
unless, it leads to a plethora of health problems

IELTS academic what are the causes of obesity and how it can be solved essay

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
317 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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