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Technology connecting people

Technology connecting people m3Qld
The rapid advancements of technology evolving, as a vital factor in the modern form of communication, has simplified the process of conveying information and revolutionised the way people communicate within their society and across nations, globalising the world. This essay will examine the evolution of sophisticated communication devices, the transition from manual to electronic communication, and their significant impacts of redefining the boundaries of connectivity and communication within a global scale. The technological progressions throughout the 19th and 20th century has become a fundamental influence within our lives of allowing people to connect and communicate with each other without geographical boundaries. The design examples this essay will investigate includes the telegraph, invented during the mid 1800’s, an electromagnetic device utilised for long-distance communication. Another example includes the enigma machine, a cryptographic communication device introduced during the first World War. Finally, I will also discuss the braille language, an alphabetic writing system for the visually impaired.
The rapid advancements of technology evolving, as a vital factor in the modern form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
, has simplified the process of conveying information and
Possible spelling mistake. 'revolutionised' is British English.
revolutionised
the way
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
communicate within their society and across nations,
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalising' is British English.
globalising
the world. This essay will examine the evolution of sophisticated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
devices, the transition from manual to electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
, and their significant impacts of redefining the boundaries of connectivity and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
within a global scale. The technological progressions throughout the 19th and 20th century has become a fundamental influence within our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of allowing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to connect and communicate with each other without geographical boundaries. The design examples this essay will investigate includes the telegraph, invented during the mid
Apostrophes aren't needed for decades: "1800s".
1800’s
, an electromagnetic device
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilised' is British English.
utilised
for long-distance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
. Another example includes the enigma machine, a cryptographic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
device introduced during the
first
World War.
Finally
, I will
also
discuss the braille language, an alphabetic writing system for the
visually
impaired.
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IELTS academic Technology connecting people

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
155 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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