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west park secondary school building

west park secondary school building 2xoow
The map represents the layout of West Park Secondary School, showing how it was organized in 1950 and how it changed by the year 2010. Overall, total school area expanded from 1950 to 2010, with some significant changes been made in 1980. By 1980, school science block replaced the then residential area along with car park. Furthermore, farmland area was converted into a sports field. The playground area adjacent to farmland stayed same over this 30-year timeframe. Whereas, by 2010 car park covered almost half of the total area. Though, science block and school main building were unaltered, sports field cut short the playground area by approximately 40 %.
The map represents the layout of West Park Secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
School
, showing how it
was organized
in 1950 and how it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
by the year 2010.

Overall
, total
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school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
expanded from 1950 to 2010, with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
significant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
been made
in 1980.

By 1980,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
science block replaced the then residential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
along with car park.
Furthermore
, farmland
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
was converted
into a sports field. The playground
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
adjacent to farmland stayed same over this 30-year timeframe.

“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, by 2010 car park covered almost half of the total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
. Though, science block and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
main building
were unaltered
, sports field
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
short the playground
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
by approximately 40 %.

IELTS academic west park secondary school building

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
109 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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