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visits to doctor by age and sex, usa, 2001

visits to doctor by age and sex, usa, 2001 pLkKy
A glance at the bar chart reveals information about the ratio of American people visiting to Doctor divide by the gender and various age groups in 2001. It is evident that the number of men who visited to Doctor is lower than women in almost all the age groups. Besides, the oldest age group was the highest proportion of people going to Doctor. The rate of girl visitors who fell under 15 age group was similar to boy, both of just over 200. The figure for citizens aged 15 to 24 was the lowest in six age groups, while females was twice bigger than male, exactly 100. The USA witnessed there was higher people between 25 and 44 years old in both gender visiting Doctor than the under 24 age group, exactly 300 of women and just over 250 of men. In the USA, the rate of visitors in both sex increase follow to aging. The figure for women was higher than men, by 100 of people in the age range of 45 to 64 and around 20 of the 65-74 age group The eldest generation was by far the leading in the number of people going to doctor in 2001, male and female reached peaks of just under 750 and 700 respectively.
A glance at the bar chart reveals information about the ratio of American
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
visiting to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Doctor
divide by the gender and various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
in 2001.

It is evident that the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
who visited to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Doctor
is lower than women in almost all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
.
Besides
, the oldest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
was the highest proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
going to Doctor.

The rate of girl visitors who fell under 15
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
was similar to boy, both of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 200. The figure for citizens aged 15 to 24 was the lowest in six
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
, while females was twice bigger than male, exactly 100.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
USA witnessed there was higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
between 25 and 44 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
in both gender visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Doctor
than the under 24
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
, exactly 300 of women and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 250 of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
.

In the USA, the rate of visitors in both sex increase follow to aging. The figure for women was higher than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
, by 100 of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
range of 45 to 64 and around 20 of the 65-74
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
The eldest generation was by far the leading in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctor
in 2001, male and female reached peaks of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 750 and 700
respectively
.
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IELTS academic visits to doctor by age and sex, usa, 2001

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
213 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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