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The table shows the distance traveled by people of England

The table shows the distance traveled by people of England Ap5al
The table shows the distance traveled by people of England through various transportation in the year 1985 and 2000 respectively. Overall, the average distance traveled by people was increased over the years. People used public transportation like railways, buses more than walking and riding bicycles. In the year 1985, majority of the people used their car more than another way of transportation and they continued to travel more in the year 2000 by 4806. Other transportation like Long-distance bus, train, taxi, and another mode significantly increased, however, Walking, Bicycle Local bus travel was gradually decreased. Moreover, Local buses recorded a drastic drop to 274 from 429 where Long-distance buses attained a drastic rise in the year 2000. Even though, there was a slight drop noted in some mode of transportation but still, the average distance traveled by the people of England improved in the crucial way from 4740 to 6475 in the year 2000.
The table
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shows
the distance traveled by
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people
of England through various
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transportation
in the
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year
1985 and 2000
respectively
.

Overall
, the average distance traveled by
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people
was increased
over the years.
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People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
public
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transportation
like railways, buses more than walking and riding bicycles.

In the
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year
1985,
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
the
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
their car more than another way of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
transportation and
they continued to travel more in the
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year
2000 by 4806. Other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
like Long-distance bus, train, taxi, and another mode
significantly
increased,
however
, Walking, Bicycle Local bus travel was
gradually
decreased.
Moreover
, Local buses recorded a drastic drop to 274 from 429 where Long-distance buses attained a drastic rise in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2000.

Even though
, there was a slight drop noted in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
mode of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
, the average distance traveled by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of England
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
in the crucial way from 4740 to 6475 in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2000.
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IELTS academic The table shows the distance traveled by people of England

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
154 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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