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Visitors to the local cinema according to age

Visitors to the local cinema according to age GlYOQ
The provided pie chart compares the percentage of audiences of a local cinema from five different aged groups in 2000. Overall, what stands out from the pie chart is that the oldest group making up the largest proportion of visitors while the smallest percentage went on people aged 31-45. Looking at the pie chart in more detail, more than half of the number of residents going to a local cinema was people who are 55 and older. This figure was nearly two and a half times as high as that for the second-largest group, the youngest group People aged 31-45 were the least popular, accounting for 5%, which was a third of the figure for people in the 16-20 age group. The fourth compound shown in the chart is people who are from 21 to 30 years old. This group stood at 8% in total, becoming the second most popular group.
The provided pie
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chart
compares the percentage of audiences of a local cinema from five
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different
aged
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groups
in 2000.

Overall
, what stands out from the pie
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chart
is that the oldest
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group
making up the largest proportion of visitors while the smallest percentage went on
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people
aged 31-45.

Looking at the pie
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chart
in more detail, more than half of the number of residents going to a local cinema was
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people
who are 55 and older. This figure was
nearly
two and a half times as high as that for the second-largest
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group
, the youngest group

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
aged 31-45 were the least popular, accounting for 5%, which was a third of the figure for
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people
in the 16-20 age group.

The fourth compound shown in the
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chart
is
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people
who are from 21 to 30 years
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old
. This
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group
stood at 8% in total, becoming the second most popular
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group
.

IELTS academic Visitors to the local cinema according to age

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
151 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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