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visitors review in a particular hotel

visitors review in a particular hotel 75AGA
The provided pie charts compare the percentage of visitors response about the customer services of Parkway Hotel in two separate years (2005 and 2010). Overall, it is evident that there was a significant improvement in customer services in 2010 compared to 2005 and the guests had appreciated them by their response. To begin with, in 2005, only 5% of the visitors surveyed considered customer services excellent and 14% rated them good. While, visitors response changed dramatically in 2010 where a considerable number of guests (28%) said these services were excellent and 39% found them good. In 2005, 45% of guests were in favour of satisfactory services in the hotel while the figure fell to just 17% in 2010. The positive response showed the improvement in services in 2010. Moreover, In 2005, the figures for people who disliked the customer services and labelled them poor and very poor were 21% and 15% respectively. But the figures dropped significantly in 2010 to 12% and 4% respectively.
The provided pie charts compare the percentage of visitors response about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
of Parkway Hotel in two separate years (2005 and 2010).

Overall
, it is evident that there was a significant improvement in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
in 2010 compared to 2005 and the guests had appreciated them by their response.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, in 2005,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
5% of the visitors surveyed considered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
excellent and 14% rated them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
. While, visitors response
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
dramatically
in 2010 where a considerable number of guests (28%) said these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
were excellent and 39% found them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
. In 2005, 45% of guests were in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of satisfactory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
in the hotel while the figure fell to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
17% in 2010. The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
response
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
the improvement in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
in 2010.

Moreover
, In 2005, the figures for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who disliked the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
and labelled them poor and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
poor were 21% and 15%
respectively
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the figures dropped
significantly
in 2010 to 12% and 4%
respectively
.

IELTS academic visitors review in a particular hotel

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
164 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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