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Work-life balance is good for some people, but for some it is not. What is your opinion?

Work-life balance is good for some people, but for some it is not. What is your opinion? rYego
The management of time between work and life is real target for some people whilst the number of individuals stand out in the side of making efforts which aren’t enough to attain. On the whole, several reasons can be found on this issue, however, it is possible to offer relevant solutions so as to tackle the problem of no working balance. It has a various of internal and external causes not to engage the natural balance of work and life. First of all, the equality of work and life balance is highly-related to employers. The reason why it is so is that work tables are generally tailored by them. The second main cause of working overtime is, maybe, mental diseases. Unfortunately, the biggest size of overworking of the workers and recruiters is done by themselves due to the achievement desire of suitable or even good conditions of the life. In fact, it should be noted that the internal causes are occured by the people around of us. (To elaborate, children, wife, parent and other relatives) However, there are always measurements to solve the problems uplifted above which are about workaholism. Employers ought to make work schedules acceptable to deal with the work and life balance accounting for the humansʼ time who got employed by them. In addition to this, drawing up a list of priorities can improve our time management as well as taking enough exercises is essential to keep fit and fresh mind that is useful in order to be healthy in traits of mentality. The peak point of losing work-life balance is being workaholic. The necessities need to take care of the children or to tool up the house with important equipments and appliences and to achieve buying a strong car or wonderful house consist of the particles of the problems of work and life balance. Finally, in order to resolve the most visible problems of work-life management, it can be offered to work efficiently rather than excessive working. To conduct all concepts, while some want to attain a balance between working and personal life, it is impossible for the number of people. Yet there is a mere most effective way (working efficiently) to cope with the problem, which accumulates just a few people around of the method provided.
The management of time between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is real target for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
whilst the number of individuals stand out in the side of making efforts which aren’t
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to attain.
On the whole
, several reasons can
be found
on this issue,
however
, it is possible to offer relevant solutions
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
tackle the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
balance.

It has
The phrase 'a various of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'a' and 'of'.
a various of
internal and external causes not to engage the natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balance
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the equality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balance
is
highly
-related to employers. The reason why it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
tables are
generally
tailored by them. The second main cause of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
overtime is, maybe, mental diseases. Unfortunately, the biggest size of overworking of the workers and recruiters
is done
by themselves due to the achievement desire of suitable or even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
conditions of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. In fact, it should
be noted
that the internal causes are
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "occurred", the past tense form of the verb 'occur'?
occured
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around of us. (To elaborate, children, wife, parent and other relatives)

However
, there are always measurements to solve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
uplifted above which are about
Possible spelling mistake found.
workaholism
. Employers ought to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
schedules acceptable to deal with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balance
accounting for the
Possible spelling mistake found.
humansʼ
time who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
employed by them.
In addition
to this, drawing up a list of priorities can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our time management
as well
as taking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
exercises is essential to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
fit and fresh mind
that is
useful in order to be healthy in traits of mentality. The peak point of losing work-life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balance
is being workaholic. The necessities need to take care of the children or to tool up the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
equipments and
Possible spelling mistake found.
appliences
and to achieve buying a strong car or wonderful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
consist of the particles of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balance
.
Finally
, in order to resolve the most visible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
of work-life management, it can
be offered
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
efficiently
rather
than excessive working.

To conduct all concepts, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
want to attain a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balance
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
and personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, it is impossible for the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Yet
there is a mere most effective way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
(working
efficiently
) to cope with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
, which accumulates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around of the method provided.

IELTS academic Work-life balance is good for some people, but for some it is not. What is your opinion?

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
381 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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