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Values of exports in various categories during 2015-2016 along with percentage change in each category from 2015 to 2016

Values of exports in various categories during 2015-2016 along with percentage change in each category from 2015 to 2016 P19B
The given graph shows the value of exports for a country in various categories during 2015-2016. The table below gives the exact rate by which the export earnings of a particular section has increased or decreased. From the graph we can understand that the export earnings have been the highest for petroleum goods. Not only that, it was witnessed a slight rise, by 3%, in the year 2016. This clearly indicates that the country earns its maximum revenue from these petroleum products. But that doesn’t leave out the engineered good which contribute closely to the petroleum goods and has also witnessed a rise in its value, only here the rise was a whopping 8. 5%. In contrast to these, there were some goods which experience a downfall in it value, they being gems and jewellery. Their value dropped down by 5. 18%. the agricultural products contribute to the export earnings by approximately $32 billion. These goods also showcased a slight growth in their value by 0. 18%. lastly the sector that contributes least to the countries foreign revenue is textile, sharing about $27 billion in 2015 and about $32 billion in 2016 with the country. This shows a massive increase in its value which is by 15. 24%.
The
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given
graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the
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value
of
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exports
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
in various categories during 2015-2016. The table below gives the exact rate by which the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
export
earnings of a particular section has increased or decreased. From the graph we can understand that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
export
earnings have been the highest for petroleum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
that, it
was witnessed
a slight rise, by 3%, in the year 2016. This
clearly
indicates that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
earns its maximum revenue from these petroleum products.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
that doesn’t
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leave
out the engineered
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good
which contribute
closely
to the petroleum
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goods
and has
also
witnessed a rise in its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
here the rise was a whopping 8. 5%.
In contrast
to these, there were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
which experience a downfall in it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
, they being gems and
Possible spelling mistake. 'jewellery' is British English.
jewellery
. Their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "dropped".
dropped down
by 5. 18%.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
agricultural products contribute to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
export
earnings by approximately $32 billion. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
also
showcased a slight growth in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
by 0. 18%.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
lastly
the sector that contributes least to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
foreign revenue is textile, sharing about $27 billion in 2015 and about $32 billion in 2016 with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
a massive increase in its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
which is by 15. 24%.

IELTS academic Values of exports in various categories during 2015-2016 along with percentage change in each category from 2015 to 2016

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
208 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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