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the changes that have taken place at West Park Secondary School since its construction in 1950

the changes that have taken place at West Park Secondary School since its construction in 1950 YX9V
The diagrams show west park school at three different stages in its development: 1950, 1980, 2010. In 1950, the school was built close to a main road and next to a number of houses. A large area behind the school was turned into a playground, while the area behind houses was farmland. By 1980, the houses had been demolished in order to make way for a small car park and an additional school building, which became a science block. In addition to the existing playground, the school also gained farmland and converted it into a sports field. In 2010, the school building remained unchanged but the car park was extended to cover the entire sports field. As a result of this, the original playground was divided into two so that provided a smaller playground and a small sports field. During this period, the school has increased in size and a car park has been created and enlarged. The combined recreational areas, however, first expanded and were then reduced in size.
The diagrams
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show
west
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park
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school
at three
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different
stages in its development: 1950, 1980, 2010.

In 1950, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
was built
close to a main road and
next
to a number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
. A large area behind the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
was turned
into a
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playground
, while the area behind
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
was farmland.

By 1980, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
had
been demolished
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
way for a
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small
car
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park
and an additional
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school
building, which became a science block.
In addition
to the existing
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playground
, the
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school
also
gained farmland and converted it into a sports field.

In 2010, the
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school
building remained unchanged
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but
the car
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park
was extended
to cover the entire sports field.
As a result
of this, the original
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playground
was divided
into two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that provided a smaller
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playground
and a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
sports field.

During this period, the
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school
has increased in size and a car
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park
has
been created
and enlarged. The combined recreational areas,
however
,
first
expanded and were then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
in size.
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IELTS academic the changes that have taken place at West Park Secondary School since its construction in 1950

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
170 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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