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Using phones in school from 2016-2019

Using phones in school from 2016-2019 KG8d1
The pie charts are illustrating the main reasons for teenagers in one African country using their phone in the years 2016-2019. The different reasons were social networks, email, digital camera and phone calls. Firstly, it can be mentioned that social networks is the absolute main reason for teenagers using their phone that surfaces around 50 percent of the time and digital camera is the least around 5-15 percent. Email is quite popular as well which is between 19-25 percent and digital camera 15-20 percent. Secondly, Social networks has increased in percentage at around 6 percent from 2016 to 2019. Likewise for digital camera that jumped from 15 percent in 2016 to 20 percent in 2019. Nevertheless, email has decreased from 25 percent to 19 percent and also phone calls went backwards from 10 percent to 5 percent. To conclude, while the reasons social networks and digital camera became much more popular in the last 4 years, the reasons email and phone calls had lost their popularity.
The pie charts are illustrating the main
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reasons
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
in one African country using their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
in the years 2016-2019. The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
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reasons
were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
networks
, email, digital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
calls.

Firstly
, it can
be mentioned
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
networks
is the absolute main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
using their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
that surfaces around 50
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percent
of the time and digital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
is the least around 5-15
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percent
. Email is quite popular
as well
which is between 19-25
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percent
and digital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
15-20 percent.

Secondly
,
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Social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
networks
has increased in percentage at around 6
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
from 2016 to 2019.
Likewise
for digital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
that jumped from 15
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percent
in 2016 to 20
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
in 2019.
Nevertheless
, email has decreased from 25
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
to 19
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
and
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
calls went backwards from 10
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percent
to 5 percent.

To conclude
, while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
networks
and digital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
became much more popular in the last 4 years, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
email and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
calls had lost their popularity.

IELTS academic Using phones in school from 2016-2019

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
166 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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