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The provided diagram describes how clean water deprivation causes destitution in Africa.

The provided diagram describes how clean water deprivation causes destitution in Africa. gG6JL
Generally, this problem results in various consequences such as illness and extreme labor. It is worth mentioning that escaping this cycle of poverty is almost impossible. Reportedly, about 11% of global citizens cannot obtain drinking water for their personal life. As such, they are not able to execute daily activities like farming, building, health maintaining, learning, and working. To quench the thirst of many impoverished people in Africa, gathering unprocessed water and consuming it has been the norm, which leads to health-related issues and time wastage. For instance, citizens of Sub-Saharan Africa spend 40 billion hours per year harvesting water, which is the equivalent of the one-year labor period of entire France’s workforce. During each trip, the African people have to carry a water container whose weight ranges from 40 to 70 pounds, the same as a 5-year-old and a baby hippo respectively. Value-wise, the water has another problem as research from WHO has shown that $1 subsidized for water and sanitation yields from $3 to $34 in return. Because of these negative results, water plays an imperative role in improving one’s life. Firstly, water allows for a healthier body, which decreases illness time and enables people to continue their journey of becoming sustainable. Secondly, since water can be used to grow crop, hunger and school feeding can be partly resolved. Lastly, when children no longer have to undergo the water-carrying practice, they can re-enter schools, ensuring their success.
Generally
, this problem results in various consequences such as illness and extreme labor. It is worth mentioning that escaping this cycle of poverty is almost impossible.

Reportedly, about 11% of global citizens cannot obtain drinking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
for their personal life. As such, they are not able to execute daily activities like farming, building, health maintaining, learning, and working. To quench the thirst of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
impoverished
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in Africa, gathering unprocessed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
and consuming it has been the norm, which leads to health-related issues and time wastage.
For instance
, citizens of Sub-Saharan Africa spend 40 billion hours per year harvesting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
, which is the equivalent of the one-year labor period of entire France’s workforce. During each trip, the African
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
carry a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
container whose weight ranges from 40 to
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
70 pounds
, the same as a 5-year-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
and a baby hippo
respectively
. Value-wise, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
has another problem as research from WHO has shown that $1 subsidized for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
and sanitation yields from $3 to $34 in return.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
results,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
plays an imperative role in improving one’s life.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
for a healthier body, which decreases illness time and enables
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to continue their journey of becoming sustainable.
Secondly
, since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to grow crop, hunger and school feeding can be partly resolved.
Lastly
, when children no longer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
undergo the water-carrying practice, they can re-enter schools, ensuring their success.
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IELTS academic The provided diagram describes how clean water deprivation causes destitution in Africa.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
239 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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