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USA lobar from 1930 and 2010 graph

USA lobar from 1930 and 2010 graph rKRjn
The information that labor force in America from 1930 to 2010 is depicted by line graph From overall perspective, it readily apparent that expect the Farming labor force, other types of labor showed upwards trend in given time period With regard to cultivation labor, decreasing from 75%to 60% In 1930 to 1970. Before going to reach at dip the percentage of farming labor was 35% in 1990. Farming, fishing and foresting then plunged with exponential throughout the period. In 1930, the percentage of industrial labor force fluctuated between 5%to 20% till 1980. There was dramatic increase observed in percentage of industrial labor force, it accounted to 38% in 2010 Moving further, the rate of technical and sales was 2 in 1930. In next years, it accounted less than quarter. After years, Increasing by 38%. There was only 10% difference between technical and sales office in 2010. Other services constant growth till end of the 2010
The information that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
labor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
force
in America from 1930 to 2010
is depicted
by line graph From
overall
perspective, it
readily
apparent that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
the Farming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
labor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
force
, other types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
labor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
upwards trend in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
time period With regard to cultivation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
labor
, decreasing from 75%to 60% In 1930 to 1970.
“Before” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Before
going to reach at dip the percentage of farming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
labor
was 35% in 1990. Farming, fishing and foresting then plunged with exponential throughout the period. In 1930, the percentage of industrial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
labor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
force
fluctuated between 5%to 20% till 1980. There was dramatic increase observed in percentage of industrial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
labor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
force
, it accounted to 38% in 2010

Moving
further
, the rate of technical and sales was 2 in 1930. In
next
years, it accounted less than quarter. After years, Increasing by 38%. There was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
10% difference between technical and sales office in 2010. Other services constant growth till
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the 2010

IELTS academic USA lobar from 1930 and 2010 graph

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
152 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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