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daily activity distribution per day

daily activity distribution per day PM8pg
The given pie chart shows the time spent on five different activities, which include sleeping, working, eating, traveling, and relaxing in one day span. Unit is measured in percentage. Overall, Working presents the largest piece in the chart, following by sleeping, and traveling. In contrast, the least practiced activities are eating and relaxing. There is a great figure of time spent working, accounted for 41. 7%. The second most contributed activity, however, is only about a quarter of the presented chart. Following by traveling or the third most conducted activity. It shows a proportion of 15. 7%. Taking sleeping and traveling and combined them together, the percentage is 40. 7 which is still less than the working time. The least time spent in one day period is eating and relaxing. Both of these activities have the same percentage which is 8. 3. Both of these two combined it is only 16. 6 out of one hundred.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
pie chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the time spent on five
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
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activities
, which include sleeping,
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working
, eating, traveling, and relaxing in one day span. Unit
is measured
in percentage.

Overall
,
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Working
presents the largest piece in the chart, following by sleeping, and traveling.
In contrast
, the least practiced
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activities
are eating and relaxing.

There is a great figure of time spent
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working
, accounted for 41. 7%. The second most contributed
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activity
,
however
, is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
about a quarter of the presented chart. Following by traveling or the third most conducted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
a proportion of 15. 7%. Taking sleeping and traveling and combined them together, the percentage is 40. 7 which is
still
less than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
time.

The least time spent in one day period is eating and relaxing. Both of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
have the same percentage which is 8. 3. Both of these two combined it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
16. 6 out of one hundred.
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IELTS academic daily activity distribution per day

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
156 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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