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Us honey-bee colonies 1970-2010 and us honey production 1970-2010

Us honey-bee colonies 1970-2010 and us honey production 1970-2010 Myygk
The bar chart indicated information on the honey bee in the US, divided by colonies and production in 1970-2010. It is obvious that the number of honey-bee colonies rose slightly from 4 million in 1970 to about 4. 2 million in 1980. However, there was a rapid decline in the number of colonies between 1990 and 2010. The figure went down to about 4. 2 million in 1980 from exactly 3. 5 million in 1990. This situation continued to reach a low point at about 1. 7 million in 2010. IIn the case of honey production, the proportion reduced from 130 000 tonnes in 1970 to 110 000 tonnes in 1980. Conversely, between 1990 and 2010, the amount jumped suddenly to 120 000 tonnes in 1990, when there was equivalent with bee colonies. The statistics fell to 100 000 tonnes in 2000 and it decreased dramatically by 70 000 tonnes in 2010. Overall, it can be seen from the two diagrams that both the number of colonies and the amount of production fluctuated but they are almost dropped.
The bar chart indicated information on the honey bee in the US, divided by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
colonies
and production in 1970-2010.

It is obvious that the number of honey-bee
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
colonies
rose
slightly
from 4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
in 1970 to about 4. 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
in 1980.
However
, there was a rapid decline in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
colonies
between 1990 and 2010. The figure went down to about 4. 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
in 1980 from exactly 3. 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
in 1990. This situation continued to reach a low point at about 1. 7
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
in 2010.

Possible spelling mistake found.
IIn
the case of honey production, the proportion
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
from 130 000 tonnes in 1970 to 110 000 tonnes in 1980.
Conversely
, between 1990 and 2010, the amount jumped
suddenly
to 120 000 tonnes in 1990, when there was equivalent with bee
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
colonies
. The statistics fell to 100 000 tonnes in 2000 and it decreased
dramatically
by 70 000 tonnes in 2010.

Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the two diagrams that both the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
colonies
and the amount of production fluctuated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they are almost dropped.
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IELTS academic Us honey-bee colonies 1970-2010 and us honey production 1970-2010

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
178 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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