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educational gap between school and university

educational gap between school and university RVVxM
Nowadays, some people believe that it could be more beneficial for youngsters who have graduated recently from high school to spend a few years working in a business before attending university. Undoubtedly, there are some drawbacks in addition to its benefits for the student. There is definitely a number of demerits for people aged 18 to start working before going to the university. The educational gap can make students disinterested in education and university. In other words, this approach can lose their concentration skill and learning enthusiasm compared to the young people. For instance, had a person aged 23 started university at 18 age, he would have learned and become a more successful expert. Despite all demerits, some benefits can be provided to students by this approach. Students can have time to recognize diverse businesses and become familiar with real and it can be an opportunity for them to choose the way which they are interested in. In other words, youngsters can decide more logically for their future to continue in which field and job. For instance, if a person has a remarkable talent in selling, it is a good time to appear this talent rather than wasting time in university. In conclusion, having an educational gap between high school and university in order to take a job in a business, provides a multitude number of merits for students such as becoming familiar with diverse hobs. Additionally, this approach and concentration on education in addition to wasting time.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that it could be more beneficial for youngsters who have graduated recently from high school to spend a few years working in a business
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
.
Undoubtedly
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks
in addition
to its benefits for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
. There is definitely a number of demerits for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
aged 18 to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
working
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
going to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
. The educational gap can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
disinterested in education and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
.
In other words
, this approach can lose their concentration
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
and learning enthusiasm compared to the young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
For instance
, had a person aged 23
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
at 18 age, he would have learned and become a more successful expert. Despite all demerits,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits can
be provided
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
by this approach.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
can have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to recognize diverse businesses and become familiar with real and it can be an opportunity for them to choose the way which they
are interested
in.
In other words
, youngsters can decide more
logically
for their future to continue in which field and job.
For instance
, if a person has a remarkable talent in selling, it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to appear this talent
rather
than wasting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
.
In conclusion
, having an educational gap between high school and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
in order to take a job in a business, provides a multitude number of merits for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
such as becoming familiar with diverse hobs.
Additionally
, this approach and concentration on education
in addition
to wasting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
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IELTS academic educational gap between school and university

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
248 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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