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satisfaction and happiness

satisfaction and happiness 8LLrk
The graph and chart give information about life satisfaction scored by 6 aged groups and the factors make them pleasure focus on money and health questioned 7 aged groups in percentage. Overall, the last group aged 61-70 are the most satisfied people who scored 5. 6 from 1 to 7 and the 4th group aged 41-59 have the least satisfaction. Additionally, young people are made happy by money, whereas health is more pleasant for older people. People in 6 aged groups which have 10 years period instead of the first group aged 15-20 have been questioned. Initially, a slight difference is seen between the scores of women and men which are 5. 3 and 5. 5 respectively. Both genders' scores in the next 3 groups have decreased by ageing and it has reached the minimum(5) in the third group aged 41-50. Subsequently, scores have increased by age increase in both genders. Two peasant factors(money and health) has been asked from 7 aged groups with 10 years period(15-74) in the first 6 groups and over 75 for the last one. Money is pleasant for nearly 55% of the youngest group. Health has less value for youngs, whereas it is pleasant for nearly 45% of people aged over 65.
The graph and chart give information about life satisfaction scored by 6
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aged
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groups
and the factors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them pleasure focus on money and
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health
questioned 7
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aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
in percentage.
Overall
, the last
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group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
61-70 are the most satisfied
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people
who scored 5. 6 from 1 to 7 and the 4th
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group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
41-59 have the least satisfaction.
Additionally
, young
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people
are made
happy by money, whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is more pleasant for older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
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People
in 6
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
which have 10 years period
instead
of the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
15-20 have
been questioned
.
Initially
, a slight difference is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
between the scores of women and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
which are 5. 3 and 5. 5
respectively
. Both genders' scores in the
next
3
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
have decreased by
Possible spelling mistake. 'ageing' is British English.
ageing
and it has reached the minimum(5) in the third
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
41-50.
Subsequently
, scores have increased by age increase in both genders. Two peasant factors(money and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health)
has
been asked
from 7
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
with 10 years period(15-74) in the
first
6
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
and over 75 for the last one. Money is pleasant for
nearly
55% of the youngest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Health
has less value for
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "young", the plural form of the noun 'young'?
youngs
, whereas it is pleasant for
nearly
45% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
over 65.
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IELTS academic satisfaction and happiness

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
207 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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