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unemployment rate for adults (2000 to present)

unemployment rate for adults (2000 to present) KnJe6
The line graph illustrates the porportion of unemployment of college graduates and high-school leavers between 2000 and present. Overall, the unemployment rate of high-school leavers was substantially higher than of college graduates. In 2000, the percentage of jobless high-school college graduates it was 2% lower, at 1%. Over the following 10 years, unemployment rate for both categories increased before showing a slight decline. However, 2009-2010 showed s steep increased in unemployment for both high-school leavers and college graduates, with the former peeking just above 4% and the latter soaring up 10%, numbers unprecedented in that decade.
The line graph illustrates the
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porportion
of
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unemployment
of college graduates and
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high-school
leavers between 2000 and present.

Overall
, the
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unemployment
rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high-school
leavers was
substantially
higher than of college graduates.

In 2000, the percentage of jobless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high-school
college graduates it was 2% lower, at 1%. Over the following 10 years,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
rate for both categories increased
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before
showing a slight decline.

However
, 2009-2010
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showed
s steep increased in
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unemployment
for both
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high-school
leavers and college graduates, with the former peeking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
above 4% and the latter soaring up 10%, numbers unprecedented in that decade.
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IELTS academic unemployment rate for adults (2000 to present)

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
96 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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