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Typical daily demand for electricity. What electricity is used for.

Typical daily demand for electricity. What electricity is used for. ORawy
The line graph gives information on winter and summer demands for electricity while the pie chart illustrate the purpose power was demanded for. Generally, electricity is highly consume in winter compare to summer season, although in both seasons the demand was not stable as there was flutuation in the requirement. Electricity is widely require for the purpose of heating both rooms and water thereby occupying 52. 5% in the sum total of the use of electricity. Little appliances such as TV, Radio and Lighting alongside large appliance also such as Vaccum cleaners, food mixers and electric tools attain a figure of 15. 0% each for the usage of power. Electric tools such as Ovens, kettles and washing machine require 17. 5% power for its daily consumption.
The line graph gives information on winter and summer demands for electricity while the pie chart illustrate the purpose power
was demanded
for.

Generally
, electricity is
highly
Consider using a past participle here: "consumed".
consume
in winter compare to summer season, although in both seasons the demand was not stable as there was
Possible spelling mistake found.
flutuation
in the requirement.

Electricity is
widely
Consider using a past participle here: "required".
require
for the purpose of heating both rooms and water thereby occupying 52. 5% in the sum total of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of electricity.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Little
appliances such as TV, Radio and Lighting alongside large appliance
also
such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
Vaccum
cleaners, food mixers and electric tools attain a figure of 15. 0% each for the usage of power. Electric tools such as Ovens, kettles and washing machine require 17. 5% power for its daily consumption.

IELTS academic Typical daily demand for electricity. What electricity is used for.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
126 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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