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Few people think that money should be save for retirement age .do you agree or disagree?

Few people think that money should be save for retirement age. nXkDe
In this current edge era, some people believed that money ought to be save for their future. I great extent, the agree with this notion and certain arguments support my views will be discussed in the forthcoming paragraphs. To begin with, there are various contributing reasons which are responsible for this approach. The first and foremost is self dependent. To make it more clear, if people have strong bank balance they do not need to depend on their children as well as they can also make life very comfortable. Moreover, if people suffer from any harmful disease in retirement age then they can getting quality treatment with the help of bank balance
In this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
edge era,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believed that money ought to be
The word "save" is a verb. Did you mean the adjective "safe"?
save
for their future. I great extent, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this notion and certain arguments support my views will
be discussed
in the forthcoming paragraphs. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are various contributing reasons which are responsible for this approach. The
first
and foremost is self dependent. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have strong bank balance they do not need to depend on their children
as well
as they can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
comfortable.
Moreover
, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
suffer from any harmful disease in retirement age then they can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "get"
getting
quality treatment with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of bank balance
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IELTS academic Few people think that money should be save for retirement age.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
111 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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