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The pie charts illustrate the percentage of online shopping sales in 4 different categories in Canada in 2005 and 2010.

The pie charts illustrate the percentage of online shopping sales in 4 different categories in Canada in 2005 and 2010. rKGyN
The pie charts illustrate the percentage of online shopping sales in 4 different categories in Canada in 2005 and 2010. Overall, it is clear that the proportion of online sales for each of four groups changed dramatically over the period of 5 years. While the figures for electronics and appliance and also furnishings reduced, the figure for other two sectors increased. In 2005, electronics and appliance accounted for the largest percentage of online sales, at 35%. However, there was a fall in this figure to 30% in 2010. Shopping online for home saw a significant drop from 25% in 2005 to 15% in 2010. In contrast, the proportion of sales on the internet for the two remain sectors increased. The most dramatic rise was in food and beverage sector. While the figure was just 22% of the total online shopping sales in 2005, it rose to 32% in 2010. Finally, video game was the least common category of online shopping in 2005, which represented 18% of the total sales but the figure increased to 23% in 2010.
The pie charts illustrate the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
in 4
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
categories in Canada in 2005 and 2010.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
for each of four groups
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
dramatically
over the period of 5 years. While the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figures
for electronics and appliance and
also
furnishings
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
for other two sectors increased.

In 2005, electronics and appliance accounted for the largest percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
, at 35%.
However
, there was a fall in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
to 30% in 2010.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
for home
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a significant drop from 25% in 2005 to 15% in 2010.

In contrast
, the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
on the internet for the two remain sectors increased. The most dramatic rise was in food and beverage sector. While the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
22% of the total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
in 2005, it rose to 32% in 2010.
Finally
, video game was the least common category of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
in 2005, which represented 18% of the total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
increased to 23% in 2010.
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IELTS academic The pie charts illustrate the percentage of online shopping sales in 4 different categories in Canada in 2005 and 2010.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
177 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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