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energy is used for Australian household and amount of their green gas emittion.

energy is used for Australian household and amount of their green gas emittion. 1aVYW
The two charts below show how much energy is used for Australian household and amount of their green gas emittion. Initially we can see the most amount of energy is used for heating about42% consequencing we can see the nesxt most used energy is for water heating about 30%. This chart pretend that more than of half of the whole chart belongs to these two types of energy consuming, former 15% of energy is used for othe appliances. Finally we can interpret that slightly small amount use of energy is for refrigeration about7%, lightening 4% and cooling 2%. consequently we take alook on second chart, it shows the Australian household gas emission. First we can see the most amount of gas emission is related to to water heating about 32% and other appliances about 28%. Finally we can see less than 50% green gas emission belongs to refrigeration14%, heating 15%, lightening8%, cooling 3%. In addition we can conclude the most used household energies produse most green gas emission like water heating and refrigeration and other appliances
The two
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charts
below
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show
how much
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energy
is
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used
for Australian household and
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amount
of their green
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gas
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emittion
.
Initially
we can
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see
the most
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amount
of
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energy
is
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used
for
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heating
about42%
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consequencing
we can
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see
the
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nesxt
most
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used
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energy
is for water
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heating
about 30%. This
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chart
pretend that more than of half of the whole
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chart
belongs to these two types of
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energy
consuming, former 15% of
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energy
is
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used
for
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othe
appliances.
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Finally
we can interpret that
slightly
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small
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amount
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
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energy
is for refrigeration about7%, lightening 4% and cooling 2%.
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consequently
we take
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alook
on second
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chart
, it
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shows
the Australian household
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gas
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emission
.
First
we can
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see
the most
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amount
of
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gas
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emission
is related
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to to
water
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heating
about 32% and other appliances about 28%.
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Finally
we can
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see
less than 50% green
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gas
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emission
belongs to refrigeration14%,
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heating
15%, lightening8%, cooling 3%.

In
The comma is probably missing here: "addition, we".
addition we
can conclude the most
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used
household
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energies
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produse
most green
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gas
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emission
like water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
and refrigeration and other appliances
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IELTS academic energy is used for Australian household and amount of their green gas emittion.

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
175 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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