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Two pie charts illustrate the information of power production in France 1985 to 2003.

Two pie charts illustrate the information of power production in France 1985 to 2003. bE5QX
The two pie charts compare the proportion of five types of power production in France during 18 years 1985 to 2003. overall, in both years, the most significant sources of energy was oil, while other genres of energy sources generated the least amount of power. There was only minimal change over given period. Moving towards details, energy produced by natural gas comprised of 13 % in the first year and that data surged to nearly a quarter in 2003. Likewise, oil was used for energy generation to just over half in 1995; however, in 2003 it was recorder to 39%. With regards to the remaining methods of energy manufacturing, there was 5% reduction in production from both sources coal and nuclear to 13% and 17% respectively. In terms of other renewable resources, a slight inclined during 18 years which was from 1 % to 4%.
The two pie charts compare the proportion of five types of power production in France during 18 years 1985 to 2003.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
overall
, in both years, the most significant sources of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
was oil, while other genres of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
sources generated the least amount of power. There was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
minimal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
over
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period. Moving towards
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
produced by natural gas comprised of 13 % in the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
and that data surged to
nearly
a quarter in 2003.
Likewise
, oil was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
generation to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over half in 1995;
however
, in 2003 it was recorder to 39%.
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
With regards to
the remaining methods of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
manufacturing, there was 5% reduction in production from both sources coal and nuclear to 13% and 17%
respectively
. In terms of other renewable resources, a slight inclined during 18 years which was from 1 % to 4%.
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IELTS academic Two pie charts illustrate the information of power production in France 1985 to 2003.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
145 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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