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two pia charts show about using hydropower in autralia and france

two pia charts show about using hydropower in autralia and france bEGrq
The pie charts illustrate the power supply production units by few sources in Australia and France between 1982 2000. To begin within Australia, the total number of electricity production was a hundred units in 1980 and 170 units in 2000. We manufactured half of whole light by coal source in 1980 whereas in 2000coal was used in power production, which has been observed 130 units. Moreover, natural gas and hydro had the same units. It comprised of 20 teams. At the same time, the electricity manufacture of oil was seen, which was ten units in 2036, and was utilized in waterpower. Furthermore, natural gas and oil had similar units. They accounted for two units. Moving to words in 1980 in for inference coal and natural gas had same units 25 and oil shared by 20units while 15 units for nuclear power and Nearly 5 for hydropower from the total 90 units in 2000 atomic power had highest units while coal and oil had the same unit 25 from the total number of 180 units. Overall, Australia did not use nuclear power in both years, and nuclear power used in France.
The pie charts illustrate the
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power
supply production
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units
by few sources in Australia and France between 1982 2000.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
within Australia, the total number of electricity production was a hundred
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
in 1980 and 170
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
in 2000. We manufactured half of whole light by coal source in 1980 whereas in 2000coal was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
production, which has
been observed
130
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
.
Moreover
, natural gas and hydro had the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
. It comprised of 20 teams. At the same time, the electricity manufacture of
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oil
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
, which was ten
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units
in 2036, and
was utilized
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
waterpower
.
Furthermore
, natural gas and
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oil
had similar
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units
. They accounted for two units.

Moving to words in 1980 in for inference coal and natural gas had same
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units
25 and
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oil
shared by
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20units
while 15
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units
for nuclear
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power
and
Nearly
5 for hydropower from the total 90
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units
in 2000 atomic
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power
had
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
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units
while coal and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
had the same
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unit
25 from the total number of 180 units.

Overall
, Australia did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
nuclear
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power
in both years, and nuclear
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power
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in France.
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IELTS academic two pia charts show about using hydropower in autralia and france

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
190 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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