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The given graph illustrates the information about the percentage of people who were employed in three sectors of the economy in Great Britain between 2000 and 2010.

The given graph illustrates the information about the percentage of people who were employed in three sectors of the economy in Great Britain between 2000 and 2010. 2rDgb
Overall, it can be seen that employment rates in private and self-employed sectors fluctuated between the above mentioned years, while employment rates in public sector started to drop. Public sector ranked first among the three sectors of the economy in the first year of the period. In 2002-2003 years the sector remained steady. Thereafter, it dropped dramatically and hit the lowest point of 20 in the final year. During the 2000s and 2002s private sector was the second. Over 3 years later, it increased moderately at 10%. Yet, it dipped mildly until 2006 and hit the highest point of 50 percentage in final year. On the other hand, the last sector or self-employed sector began at around 18% in 2000. From 2002 to 2005 there was a dip and the percentage of self-employed also changed sporadically from 2005 to 2009. Then the percentage gradually went down to 20% in 2010.
Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that employment rates in private and self-employed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
fluctuated between the above mentioned years, while employment rates in public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to drop. Public
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sector
ranked
first
among the three
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sectors
of the economy in the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
of the period. In 2002-2003 years the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
remained steady. Thereafter, it dropped
dramatically
and hit the lowest point of 20 in the final
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
. During the 2000s and 2002s private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
was the second. Over 3 years later, it increased
moderately
at 10%.
Yet
, it dipped
mildly
until 2006 and hit the highest point of 50 percentage in final
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year
.
On the other hand
, the last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
or self-employed
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sector
began at around 18% in 2000. From 2002 to 2005 there was a dip and the percentage of self-employed
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
sporadically
from 2005 to 2009. Then the percentage
gradually
went down to 20% in 2010.
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IELTS academic The given graph illustrates the information about the percentage of people who were employed in three sectors of the economy in Great Britain between 2000 and 2010.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
150 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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