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Two maps below show the road to city hospital in 2007 to 2010

Two maps below show the road to city hospital in 2007 to 2010 7WYr5
Hospital is one of the most significant places, it must be situated in every area and also easily accessible to people at times of emergency we will now examine the route to City Hospital City Hospital is situated at the center of the Ring Road. In 2007 to reach the City Hospital one should travel through the City road and take a right one can arrive at hospital right-hand side of the road there is a copper for staff and public. In 2010 the place where City Hospital is located has drastically change back in 2007 there was only one route to reach the City Hospital which is the hospital route there are much high possibilities of a traffic jam in 2010a new roundabout has been established one can travel in the northwest direction and when your bus stop has been developed and thick and other roundabout and which city hospital and can avoid much traffic and reach faster earlier there was a single car park near to the hospital common to staff and public later improvisation has been done and two separate carp arks or available one for staff another one for public City Hospital group has drastically changed in the past years and Has been more convenient in many ways to benefit public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Hospital
is one of the most significant places, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be situated
in every area and
also
easily
accessible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
at times of emergency we will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
examine the route to City Hospital

City
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Hospital
is situated
at the center of the Ring Road. In 2007 to reach the City
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Hospital
one should travel through the City road and take a right one can arrive at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
right-hand side of the road there is a copper for staff and public. In 2010 the place where City
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Hospital
is located
has
drastically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
back in 2007 there was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one route to reach the City
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Hospital
which is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
route there are much high possibilities of a traffic jam in 2010a new roundabout has
been established
one can travel in the northwest direction and when your bus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
has
been developed
and thick and other roundabout and which city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
and can avoid much traffic and reach faster earlier there was a single car park near to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
common to staff and public later improvisation has
been done
and two separate carp arks or available one for staff another one for
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
public


City
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Hospital
group has
drastically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
in the past years and Has been more convenient in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways to benefit public
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IELTS academic Two maps below show the road to city hospital in 2007 to 2010

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
214 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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