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mixed graph with number of people migrated in UK for distinct years

mixed graph with number of people migrated in UK for distinct years pXxDD
The mixed graph illustrates the total number of people migrated for a long-term in the United Kingdom for the ten consecutive years starting from 1999 till 2008. Overall, it can be seen that immigration and emigration have some fluctuation with some rise, fall and constant figures for distinct years. Likewise, bar graph which represents the net person also followed the same trend. From the given data, it can be observed that immigration have the highest migration followed by the emigration. For the net persons, the fraction of migration is steady till 2003 afterwards; a significant rose of almost 100 commoners can be sighted. Emigrants also followed the rise till 2006 but plummet in the year 2007 and again rise in the next year. In case of immigrants, approximately 480 thousands reports in tenure 2000-2001 and rise with constant amount. But it also suffered a mere decline for the folks in 2004 -2005 and 2006-2007 from 590 to 550 and 600 to 590 thousands respectively.
The mixed graph illustrates the total number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
migrated for a long-term in the United Kingdom for the ten consecutive years starting
Nonstandard phrase. Did you mean: "from 1999 to 2008"?
from 1999 till 2008
.

Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that immigration and emigration have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fluctuation with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rise
, fall and constant figures for distinct years.
Likewise
, bar graph which represents the net person
also
followed the same trend.

From the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
data, it can
be observed
that immigration have the highest migration followed by the emigration. For the net persons, the fraction of migration is steady till 2003 afterwards; a significant rose of almost 100 commoners can
be sighted
. Emigrants
also
followed the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rise
till 2006
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
plummet in the year 2007 and again
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rise
in the
next
year.

In case of immigrants, approximately 480 thousands reports in tenure 2000-2001 and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rise
with constant amount.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it
also
suffered a mere decline for the folks in 2004 -2005 and 2006-2007 from 590 to 550 and 600 to 590 thousands
respectively
.

IELTS academic mixed graph with number of people migrated in UK for distinct years

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
164 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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