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Twelve different countries that won Olympic medals in total numbers.

Twelve different countries that won Olympic medals in total numbers. gW377
The bar chart below shows Twelve different countries that won Olympic medals in total numbers. At first, of total countries, the USA has won the highest number of Gold, silver, and Bronze medals of approximately 2250. The Soviet Union has won less than the USA of precisely 100 medals in all formats. The UK has won close to 750 in all three different medals. France also has won in less number than the UK of slightly below 700. Coming to Italy and Germany they both won an almost equal number of medals of a total of 550. On the other hand, Sweden has won close to 490 and Australia is slightly under 470. While Hungary has won more medals than Australia of 480. Again, East Germany won only well under 470, while Japan and China won almost 450 and 470 respectively. Overall, it can be seen that of all countries, which won least number of Olympic medals are Japan and the highest in the number are the USA.
The bar chart below
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shows
Twelve
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different
countries that won Olympic
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medals
in total numbers.

At
first
, of total countries, the USA has won the highest
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number
of Gold, silver, and Bronze
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medals
of approximately 2250. The Soviet Union has won less than the USA of
precisely
100
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medals
in all formats. The UK has won close to 750 in all three
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different
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medals
. France
also
has won in less
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number
than the UK of
slightly
below 700. Coming to Italy and Germany they both won an almost equal
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number
of
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medals
of a total of 550.

On the other hand
, Sweden has won close to 490 and Australia is
slightly
under 470.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
Hungary has won more
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medals
than Australia of 480. Again, East Germany won
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only
well under 470, while Japan and China won almost 450 and 470
respectively
.

Overall
, it can be
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seen
that of all countries, which won
A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".
least
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number
of Olympic
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medals
are Japan and the highest in the
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number
are the USA.
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IELTS academic Twelve different countries that won Olympic medals in total numbers.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
168 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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