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The charts below show the main reasons for study among students

The charts below show the main reasons for study among students jVMj8
The chart depicts the main logic for research among students of various age groups and the among of support they received from employees. For under 26 years of age group around 80 proportion of undergraduates give the main logic for the research in the career while only 10 proportion of undergraduate prefers to research for their interest. Forth adults under(26-29) years of age of group 69 proportion of undergraduate give the logic for choosing in the career and the remaining 15 proportion undergraduate want the research in the interest. The same trend is between the age(30-39) where 58 percent of undergraduates want a carrier and only 20 proportion of undergraduates want interest. Under the age of(40-49) 40proportion of undergraduates want both for interest and career. On the other hand, over 49 aged of group 70 proportion undergraduates give the main logic for research in interest and only 15 proportion want the research for the career. For the second graph people under 26 aged of the group received the most support from the employers which is 65percent and the people over 49 years of age group received the least support received from the employers. .
The chart depicts the main
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logic
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
among students of various
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age
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groups
and the among of support they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
received
from employees.

For under 26 years of
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age
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group
around 80
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proportion
of
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undergraduates
give the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
logic
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
while
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
undergraduate
prefers to
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research
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
. Forth adults under(26-29) years of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
69
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proportion
of
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undergraduate
give the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
logic
for choosing in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
and the remaining 15
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proportion
Possible agreement error. The noun 'undergraduate' seems to be countable, so consider using: "undergraduates".
undergraduate
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want
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
. The same trend is between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age(30-39)
where 58 percent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
undergraduates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
a carrier and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
20
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
undergraduates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
. Under the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of(40-49)
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
40proportion
of
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undergraduates
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want
both for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
and
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career
.
On the other hand
, over 49 aged of
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group
70
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proportion
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undergraduates
give the main
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logic
for
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research
in
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interest
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
15
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
. For the second graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
under 26 aged of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
received
the most support from the employers which is 65percent and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
over 49 years of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
received
the least support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
received
from the employers.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
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IELTS academic The charts below show the main reasons for study among students

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
194 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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