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the diagram show the process of make cement

the diagram show the process of make cement PRoYp
The graphic explains the phases and equipment required in the cement manufacturing process, as well as how cement is used to make concrete for construction. Overall, the process of making cement consists of 5 stages, and the production of concrete only has 1 step which is mixing some ingredients. In the diagram showing cement production, limestone and clay are crushed into the powder. After that, the powder is placed into a mixer, which is followed by a rotating heater. The powder is heated and grounded into cement, then bagged in bags. In the concrete mixer, there are 10% of water, 15% of cement, 20% of sand, and 50% of gravel. This composite needs to be mixed by the rotation of the concrete mixer. This mixture will help workers to find it easy to build plenty of things such as houses, pools
The graphic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
the phases and equipment required in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
manufacturing process,
as well
as how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
concrete for construction.

Overall
, the process of making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
consists of 5 stages, and the production of concrete
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
has 1 step which is mixing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ingredients.

In the diagram showing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
production, limestone and clay
are crushed
into the powder. After that, the powder
is placed
into a mixer, which
is followed
by a rotating heater. The powder
is heated
and grounded into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
, then bagged in bags.

In the concrete mixer, there are 10% of water, 15% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
, 20% of sand, and 50% of gravel. This composite needs to
be mixed
by the rotation of the concrete mixer. This mixture will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
workers to find it easy to build
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of things such as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
,
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
pools
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IELTS academic the diagram show the process of make cement

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
140 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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